#49 When A Relationship Ends Without Accountability- How To Forgive Them When They’re Not Even Sorry

How do we forgive someone when they’re not even sorry? What does it really mean to forgive them? Is it something we 'do', something that happens in time? What is forgiveness as a process? And what of the hurt that they will not, cannot, be accountable for? What happens to that hurt?

I have struggled with not knowing how to share with you the ending of my previous relationship. Actually, I haven't struggled with knowing - I've struggled with a deep fear that he won't like it if I do. But I am naturally drawn to sharing the truth of a season because I am so aware that it is IN the truth of a season that all of the wisdom rests!!!! I cannot genuinely facilitate acceptance and forgiveness (of myself, of him, or of others that were involved), if on some weird and twisted level I am colluding with denying the reality of what happened. 

First, there's getting a grip on what happened. Then it can be accepted. Then shame can lift. Then compassion can flow. Then forgiveness can happen. After many moons of reflection, resistance, tears, snot, and way too much Taylor Swift, I'm ready to share my process with you. This is not a how-to step by step blueprint for forgiveness, ha! But it's me ☺️ It's real, raw, slightly messy, and lovely. I'm so happy that I get to alchemise my pain and share it with you. 

The online/healing world has a lot of mask wearers. With curated feeds and perfectly edited skits and scripted vulnerability to go viral... It feels bold and exhilarating and a little scary to do something else........ To be real. And you know that's the only reason I'm on here in the first place.

Would love to hear how this one lands for you. 

 

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