5.5 Edge of Tomorrow (2014) ”Consider the Pipe”

This episode we are babbling about a film that may, or may not be called Edge of Tomorrow (2014).

When Earth is invaded by aliens that look like angry spaghetti with Wi-Fi issues, humanity turns to its last hope: little Timmy Cruise in a Waldo. 

Tim Tom plays Major William Cage, a PR guy who’s never seen combat and is afraid of the dentist, but suddenly finds himself on the front lines because... reasons. He dies almost immediately. The end.

Wishful thinking dear Babbler. He then wakes up. And dies again. And again. And again. Turns out he’s stuck in a time loop: every time he dies, he respawns like a Call of Duty video game noob, learning a little more each time, mostly how not to get pancaked by alien tentacle-things. Each death is a tutorial level, and each reset is a chance to get slightly less terrible at not dying.

Enter Emily Blunt as Rita Vrataski, aka the Full Metal Bitch (her words, not ours). She’s got the moves, the sword, and the patience of someone who’s watched little Tim Tom die more times than you can shake a packet of Paxo (the rooster booster) at.

Together, they try to (unsuccessfully) find a decent second half to a film which features bare asses, time blood, alien art appreciation, pipe mimicry and a visit to Dick Street.

It’s a sci-fi action flick that teaches us all a valuable lesson: if at first you don’t succeed, give up and record a podcast.

Time Babble Series Five, Episode Five is waiting for you now on your favourite podcast service. If you can’t find it, please write in to the usual address.

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