In this episode review (Season 14, Ep. 372), Andrea revisits interviews with Dr. Dan Siegel to explore Mindsight—the focused attention that helps us see and reshape our own minds and connect with others. She breaks down how Mindsight underpins social and emotional intelligence and offers practical ways to develop it, including theory-of-mind practice, the Wheel of Awareness, and daily narrative reading.
This week, in our review of EP 28 with Daniel J. Siegel, MD and his book Mindsight, we learne...
In this episode review (Season 14, Ep. 372), Andrea revisits interviews with Dr. Dan Siegel to explore Mindsight—the focused attention that helps us see and reshape our own minds and connect with others. She breaks down how Mindsight underpins social and emotional intelligence and offers practical ways to develop it, including theory-of-mind practice, the Wheel of Awareness, and daily narrative reading.
This week, in our review of EP 28 with Daniel J. Siegel, MD and his book Mindsight, we learned:
✔ A deeper definition of Mindsight or seeing the mind in another
Mindsight, a term coined by Dr. Daniel J. Siegel, is the ability to perceive the mind within ourselves and others. It goes beyond simply observing behavior; it’s about sensing thoughts, feelings, intentions, and perspectives that aren’t immediately visible. This skill allows us to look beneath the surface of words and actions, to “see” the mind behind them, which leads to deeper empathy, better relationships, and stronger social intelligence.
✔ What is Theory of Mind and how can this skill help us to connect and understand others better
Theory of Mind (ToM) is closely related to Mindsight—it refers to our ability to attribute mental states (beliefs, desires, knowledge, intentions) to ourselves and to others. In simple terms, it’s recognizing that other people have thoughts and feelings that may be different from our own. This skill is essential for meaningful communication, conflict resolution, and collaboration, because it helps us predict how someone might react, understand why they feel a certain way, and respond with compassion rather than judgment.
✔ What is Theory of Mind and how can this skill help us to connect and understand others better
Theory of Mind (ToM) is closely related to Mindsight—it refers to our ability to attribute mental states (beliefs, desires, knowledge, intentions) to ourselves and to others. In simple terms, it’s recognizing that other people have thoughts and feelings that may be different from our own. This skill is essential for meaningful communication, conflict resolution, and collaboration, because it helps us predict how someone might react, understand why they feel a certain way, and respond with compassion rather than judgment.
✔ Practical tips to improve our Mindsight or Theory of Mind abilities
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Pause and Reflect – Before reacting, ask yourself: What might this person be thinking or feeling right now?
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Name Emotions – Practice labeling your own emotions and noticing them in others (“I feel frustrated” → “They might be anxious”).
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Perspective-Taking Exercises – Put yourself in someone else’s shoes: If I were in their position, what would I be experiencing?
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Read Fiction Regularly – Choose stories with complex characters and notice how your mind tracks their thoughts and motives.
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Practice Curiosity in Conversations – Instead of assuming, ask open-ended questions to better understand another’s perspective.
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Mindfulness Training – Strengthen your awareness of your inner world, which improves your ability to tune into the inner world of others.
The episode also emphasizes the importance of face-to-face relationships for learning and development, contrasts relational learning with screen-based approaches, and provides actionable tips educators and listeners can use to strengthen empathy, self-awareness, and relational skills.
Welcome back to SEASON 14 of The Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast, where we connect the science-based evidence behind social and emotional learning and emotional intelligence training for improved well-being, achievement, productivity and results—using what I saw as the missing link (since we weren’t taught this when we were growing up in school), the application of practical neuroscience.
I’m Andrea Samadi, and seven years ago, launched this podcast with a question I had never truly asked myself before: (and that is) If productivity and results matter to us—and they do now more than ever—how exactly are we using our brain to make them happen?
Most of us were never taught how to apply neuroscience to improve productivity, results, or well-being. About a decade ago, I became fascinated by the mind-brain-results connection—and how science can be applied to our everyday lives.
That’s why I’ve made it my mission to bring you the world’s top experts—so together, we can explore the intersection of science and social-emotional learning. We’ll break down complex ideas and turn them into practical strategies we can use every day for predictable, science-backed results.
Which brings up to today’s episode #372, where we will take Dr. Dan Siegel’s concept of Mindsight, to the next level. On our last EP 371 with Dan Siegel, PART 1 of our review of a very early interview EP 28[i], recorded in November 2019, we covered the importance of:
Understanding and Applying Mindsight which is “the way we focus our attention on the internal world. It’s how we bring consciousness to our own thoughts and feelings, and how we attune to the inner world of someone else. Mindsight gives us insight into ourselves, and empathy for others.”
Mindsight is a concept Dr. Siegel felt to be critical for us to develop noting this skill to be “the basis for social and emotional development.” He notes, that it’s a teachable set of skills that we can teach in school, and once mastered is a truly transformational tool. In his book, Mindsight he explains this concept further:
“Mindsight is a kind of focused attention that allows us to see the internal workings of our own minds. (and we’ve been talking about how important it is to go within, for true change in our lives to occur). It helps us to be aware of our mental processes without being swept away by them, (which) enables us to get ourselves off the autopilot of ingrained behaviors and habitual responses, and moves us beyond the reactive emotional loops we all have a tendency to get trapped in. It lets us “name and tame” the emotions we are experiencing, rather than being overwhelmed by them. Consider the difference between saying “I am sad” and “I feel sad.” Similar as those two statements may seem, there is actually a profound difference between them. “I am sad” is a kind of self-definition, and a very limiting one. “I feel sad” suggests the ability to recognize and acknowledge a feeling, without being consumed by it. The focusing skills that are part of mindsight make it possible to see what is inside, to accept it, and in the accepting to let it go, and, finally, to transform it into a NEW reality.
You can also think of mindsight as a very special lens that gives us the capacity to perceive the mind with greater clarity than ever before. This lens is something that virtually everyone can develop, and once we have it we can dive deeply into the mental sea inside, exploring our own inner lives and those of others. A uniquely human ability, mindsight allows us to examine closely, in detail and in depth, the processes by which we think, feel, and behave. And it allows us to reshape and redirect our inner experiences so that we have more freedom of choice in our everyday actions, (giving us) more power to create the future, to become the author of our own story. Another way to put it is that mindsight is the basic skill that underlies everything we mean when we speak of having social and emotional intelligence.” (Dr. Daniel J Siegel, Mindsight, Location 105, Kindle Edition).
VIDEO 1 Click Here to Watch
💡 Key Takeaways About Mindsight from Daniel J Siegel
- Definition of Mindsight: Focused attention that helps us perceive the internal workings of our mind. Last week in PART 1[ii] of our review of Dr. Siegel, we looked at Mindsight as “the way we focus our attention on the internal world. It’s how we bring consciousness to our own thoughts and feelings, and then, how we attune to the inner world of someone else.”
- Benefits:
- Mindsight helps us to step out of autopilot and habitual emotional reactions.
- Encourages us to “name and tame” emotions instead of being consumed by them.
- Example: “I am sad” (self-definition) vs. “I feel sad” (acknowledgement without identity attachment).
- Creates clarity, self-awareness, and the ability to transform our thoughts, feelings and actions…which is why we can become the author of our own story. When we can do this, we can change our RESULTS and outer world.
REMINDER: If we don’t like what’s happening in our external world—whether it’s in our job, relationships, results, or any area of life—we must first look inward. Our circumstances mirror the beliefs and thoughts we hold within.
Once we can master Mindsight (our inner world), we can with certainty watch our outer world transform.
This is a concept that Bob Proctor would teach in his seminars. He just labelled the terminology differently, but to me, this is where science connects to some of these age-old success principles that I watched transform the lives of thousands of people, when I worked with Proctor in the motivational speaking industry.
Mindsight as a Lens:
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- Helps us look inward with depth and precision.
- Allows reshaping and redirecting inner experiences → more freedom and choice.
- Empowers us to be the author of our own life story.
- Serves as the foundation of social and emotional intelligence.
- It allows us to be the Captain of our own ship, giving us the ability to make changes within, which creates change in our external world.
Key Points from Video Clip with Dr. Siegel
- Without Mindsight tools, we cannot develop true social skills.
- Relational intelligence: Ability to connect not just with people like us, but also with those unlike us (and with all living beings).
- Moves us from linear, self-focused thinking (“me, me, me”) to a systems perspective (who I am, that our identity, is a part of a larger whole).
- Inner aspect → emotional intelligence.
- Inter aspect → social intelligence (how we are connected to others)
- Both are part of Mindsight, a set of teachable skills that can be taught in schools.
Practical Tip for Developing Mindsight
- Learn Theory of Mind: Dan Siegel explained in our interview that Mindsight is the same thing as Theory of Mind (ToM). We first explored this concept back in Episode 46,[iii] “Developing and Using Theory of Mind in Your Daily Life.” If we want to strengthen our ability to see the mind of another—whether we call it Mindsight or ToM—I recommend reviewing that episode, where we cover how to use this skill in both the classroom and the workplace.
In that discussion, I shared my own first experience of learning how to “read the mind of another” through their eyes, a skill my mother taught me in my twenties. Neuroscientist Dr. John Medina defines this capacity as “the ability to understand the intentions and motivations of someone else.” This ability can even be measured through a Theory of Mind test developed by Professor Simon Baron-Cohen (the cousin of the well-known actor and comedian Sasha Baron Cohen).
Theory of Mind is crucial for everyday social interactions. It allows us to analyze, judge, and infer other people’s behaviors. As an important social-cognitive skill, ToM gives us the ability to think about mental states—our own as well as those of others.
John Medina gave a powerful example of ToM in action in Episode 42[iv], when he described how Walt Disney, in sharing his vision for Disneyland with Art Linkletter, missed critical social cues. Had Disney recognized and responded differently to Linkletter’s perspective, the outcome of their interaction—and possibly their partnership—might have been very different.
If you are curious about your ToM score, you can take the test yourself[v] and then see if you can use these tips to improve your score, and with time and practice, improve your social interactions as you become more in tune with others. I scored 29/36 with this test in 2020, and got this exact same score again yesterday, 5 years later, which tells me that there are some facial expressions that I have not yet mastered, and that learning is an ongoing process.
- READ NARRATIVE FICTION
Dr. Medina shared the research, telling me that you can improve your ToM score by reading narrative fiction, 10-15 minutes a day, by authors who have won awards (so that you are reading well thought out sentences). He suggests to create book clubs and study literature as a group to continue to work on this skill that Dr. Siegel thinks is the basis of social and emotional learning.
VIDEO 2 Click Here to Watch
💡 Key Takeaways About Mindsight from Daniel J Siegel
We learn in relationship
SUMMARY:
In the second video clip, I asked Dr. Siegel about the challenges technology poses for young children. He pointed me to the work of Patricia Kuhl and Andrew Meltzoff, who studied an educational video program that was marketed as a way to boost children’s learning. A major corporation later purchased the program, and research revealed that children who spent more time with the videos—at the expense of face-to-face interaction—actually learned less language. The takeaway wasn’t that the video itself was harmful, but that it displaced what truly fuels learning: relationships and human connection.
NOTE: I remember in the time frame that this educational video series was popular, I was a nanny, and many parents had asked me to sit with their infant and play this video series). I remember feeling badly that I was being paid to just sit there, and at the time I had a teaching degree, and could have used that time more wisely playing, or interacting with them more, building their experiences with someone new. Again, when we know better with the research, we can do better.
Practical Tip:
Revisit our first interview with Greg Wolcott, EP 7[vi] on Building Relationships in Today’s Schools.
Greg is the author of the book Significant 72: Unleashing the Power of Relationships in Today’s Schools and is on a serious mission to impact our schools with this movement. Greg currently serves as the Assistant Superintendent for Teaching and Learning in a suburb of Chicago as well as an adjunct professor. As an educator in the Chicago area for over 25 years, he is passionate about developing opportunities for all students to succeed as well as finding ways for all teachers and staff members to utilize their strengths to maximize learning. His “Significant 72” initiative has been implemented in over two hundred schools across the United States and Canada.
I first heard of Greg talking about this initiative on an SEL webinar, where he described what was so significant about 72 in our schools. This concept came about when Greg noticed that some students would return to school after 3 day weekends, and not knowing what many of our students face outside of school, they would spend extra time with students to re-build their relationships upon these returns. The results were significant enough for him to write a book about it, and create a program around this concept.
Like Dr. Siegel said in VIDEO CLIP 2, “we learn in relationship” not by sitting in front of videos, or technology, but by interacting with each other. Keep building strong relationships with as many face-to-face learning experiences as you can.
REVIEW and CONCLUSION
As we wrap up Episode 372, PART 2 of our review with Dr. Daniel J. Siegel, we looked at two powerful clips that brought Mindsight to life.
💡 Key Points from Video Clip 1 with Dr. Siegel
- Without Mindsight tools, we cannot develop true social skills.
- Relational intelligence is the ability to connect not just with people like us, but with those unlike us—and with all living beings.
- Mindsight helps us move from linear, self-focused thinking (“me, me, me”) to a systems perspective where identity is part of a larger whole.
- The “inner aspect” connects to emotional intelligence.
- The “inter aspect” connects to social intelligence—how we are linked to others.
- Both inner and inter aspects are part of Mindsight, a set of teachable skills that can even be taught in schools.
🔑 Practical Tips for Developing Mindsight
- Explore The Wheel of Awareness Meditation to strengthen your ability to see your own mind—and then the mind of others.
- Learn Theory of Mind: Take the ToM test, track your score, and apply practices to improve your awareness of others’ perspectives.
- Read Narrative Fiction daily (10–15 minutes, ideally from award-winning authors). Research shows this sharpens our ability to see both our own mind and the minds of others.
💡 Key Takeaways from Clip 2 with Dr. Siegel
- We learn in relationship with others.
🔑 Practical Tips
- Revisit EP 7 with Greg Wolcott on building relationships in today’s schools.
- Remember the early 2000s educational program study that proved learning occurs through interaction and relationships—not through isolated video learning.
By practicing Mindsight—the ability to see our own mind and then the minds of others—we tap into what Richard Simon, Ph.D., editor of Psychotherapy Networker, said of Dr. Siegel:
“Unmatched by anyone in the field, Mindsight offers a fascinating synthesis…about the new brain science for understanding relationships and the process of human change.” (Mindsight, Location 10, Daniel J. Siegel).
Now that we’ve reviewed PART 1 and PART 2 of Dr. Siegel’s interview, focusing on how to understand and apply Mindsight in our daily lives, I realize we’ve only just begun to scratch the surface of his work. We’ll continue to deepen these ideas when we reach Joe Dispenza’s research—but for now, this is a powerful foundation of learning to apply Mindsight to our lives, and become the Captain of Our Own Ship.
We’ll see you next week as we continue to sharpen our understanding of our mind, and brain, with neuroleadership pioneer, Freiderike Fabritius.
RESOURCES
Video Clip 1 https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Y6HhwNtkUW8
Video Clip 2 https://www.youtube.com/shorts/jmyzMPYRlnA
REFERENCES
[i] Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EPISODE #28 with Dr. Dan Siegel on “Mindsight: The Basis for Social and Emotional Intelligence” https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/clinical-professor-of-psychiatry-at-the-ucla-school-of-medicine-dr-daniel-siegel-on-mindsight-the-basis-for-social-and-emotional-intelligence/
[ii] Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EPISODE #371 “Mindsight: Become the Captain of Your Own Mind” https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/mindsight-become-the-captain-of-your-own-mind/
[iii] Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EPISODE 46 “As Close to Mind Reading as Brain Science Gets: Developing and Using Theory of Mind in your Daily Life” https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/as-close-to-mind-reading-as-brain-science-gets-developing-and-using-theory-of-mind-in-your-daily-life/
[iv] Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EPISODE 42 with Dr. John Medina on “Implementing Brain Rules in Schools and Workplaces of the Future” https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/dr-john-medina-on-implementing-brain-rules-in-the-schools-and-workplaces-of-the-future/
[v] Theory of Mind Test NOTE: My score was 29/36 (in 2020 and 2025) http://socialintelligence.labinthewild.org/mite/
[vi]Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EPISODE 7 with Greg Wolcott on “Building Relationships in Today’s Classrooms” https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/greg-wolcott-on-building-relationships-in-todays-classrooms/
