Finding Balance When Life Feels Unfair

"When I was a kid, my parents read me a book called The Contented Little Pussycat. It was about a kitten on a farm who stayed happy no matter what nonsense the barnyard animals threw at her. Whether chasing her tail or sipping a cool bowl of milk, she found her joy. That book—good, bad, or indifferent—has shaped a lot of my life.

I took on the persona of “the happy one.” First, as a kid, it helped me avoid being yelled at or worse. Later, it became my go-to survival tool for relationships—trying to turn trauma into triumph by being so nice, so competent, so deserving that someone would notice and save me. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work.

Now, I’ve realized I was outsourcing my happiness, leaving it in the hands of others. Which, fun fact, feels pretty awful when life isn’t fair. Whether it’s mean people winning, betrayal by someone you trusted, or just plain bad luck, it’s a gut punch. That sense of betrayal cuts deep, especially when it clashes with our beliefs about how life should work. The knot in your stomach says, “This isn’t right,” and suddenly even breathing feels hard.

When this happens, I like to research Buddhist philosophy to see if it provides guidance and relief. Here are seven ways to rethink things when life feels unfair..."

If you enjoyed this episode, you might want to listen to Episode 27, “Coming Home to Ourselves with Stephen Cope, or Episode #13 – “Find Happiness After Loss with Maria Sirois.” Also, please consider subscribing to this podcast, leaving a review, and sharing this episode with others. Thank you.

Donna’s latest book, Bounce Back Stronger—Finding Peace and Purpose No Matter What Happens, can be purchased here. To learn about Donna’s coaching services and events, visit donnayferris.com.

Follow Donna on Instagram and YouTube @donnayferris or Facebook @donnayatesferris.

And if you’re looking for mental health resources, please click here or reach out to your insurance provider. If you are in crisis, please dial 911, go to your nearest emergency room, or dial 988 for the suicide hotline (US only).

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