#061: Stop Criticizing! How to Properly Complain without Blame

Let’s face it. It’s easy to criticize the people around us. But, research shows that too many criticisms can harm our relationships. In this episode, TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor differentiate between critical comments and useful complaints. Listen in and learn how to turn your critical comments into helpful complaints to create more peace in the relationships you want to keep.

Music by Epidemic Sound. 

 

SHOW NOTES…

EP 61 : Stop Criticizing! How to Properly Complain without Blame

Experts :  Hocker and Wilmot, Gottman, Brown, Purdue University

Resources : below

Tools : Constructive Complaint (below)

TC4G (TRADING COMFORT FOR GROWTH) :

Brene Brown YouTube on Blame: Brené Brown on Blame - YouTube

Gottman’s Blog about Gentle Start Ups:

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-criticism/

Purdue University Article on Complaints vs. Criticisms:

https://www.extension.purdue.edu/extmedia/cfs/cfs-746-w.pdf

Hocker and Wilmot’s Formula for a Constructive Complaint:

1. Use an I statement
2. Describe the undesirable behavior
3. Use Neutral, not judgmental, language
4. Ask for a specific behavior change.