The Best of You

Why You Go Back to Old Patterns

Even after moments of clarity or growth, many of us find ourselves returning to familiar patterns. Back to what we know. Back to what once felt safe. In John 21, the disciples go back to fishing—returning to something familiar after everything they’ve just experienced. And it’s there, in the middle of that return, that Jesus meets them again. In this episode, Dr. Alison reflects on why we go back to old patterns—not as failure, but as something deeply human—and how those very places can become the ground where we are met with grace and invited into something new. Today’s Scripture is: John 21:1–14 Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

203. Staying Close When Connection Feels Hard: The Relationship Skills No One Has Taught You (with Relationship Expert Dr. James Cordova)

What if the health of your relationship is shaping more of your life than you realize? We spend so much time focusing on our individual growth—our healing, our self-awareness, our inner work. But at some point, that work has to find its way into our closest relationships. And that’s where things often get complicated. In this episode, Dr. Alison is joined by Dr. James Cordova to explore what it actually looks like to build and sustain healthy, connected relationships over time—and why it’s so much harder than we expect. Because the truth is, relationships aren’t neutral. They’re either strengthening and supporting your overall well-being…or quietly eroding it. If you’ve ever felt close to someone you love… and also strangely disconnected, this conversation will help you understand why. You’ll explore: Why relationships are more foundational to your health than you might think What actually happens as intimacy shifts over time—and why it’s not a sign something is wrong The “porcupine dilemma” and why closeness and hurt often go hand in hand How small, everyday moments either build or erode connection What it means to respond to bids for connection—and why they matter more than you realize How mindfulness and presence shape the quality of your relationships What to do when you feel stuck, disconnected, or like you’re the only one trying This conversation offers a compassionate and practical reframe:Healthy relationships aren’t about avoiding conflict or getting it right all the time. They’re about learning how to stay present, stay curious, and stay connected—even when it’s hard. More Resources: Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Read Dr. James Cordova’s Book: The Mindful Path to Intimacy: Cultivating a Deeper Connectin With Your Partner Want to go deeper? Join 80,000+ soul menders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices here.  Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 115: 4 Ways to Transform Your Relationship—Expert Tips to Heal Pain Points and Deepen Intimacy Episode 148: Dan Allendar on Healing, Intimacy, and Hard Fights Episode 137: The Mindful Marriage with Ron and Nan Deal 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Limiting Beliefs and Expectations

Sometimes the hardest limits we face are not external—they’re the expectations we’ve quietly learned to live within. In Acts 3, we meet a man who has spent years sitting at the temple gate, asking for what he believes is possible. When Peter and John encounter him, they offer something entirely different—something he wasn’t even expecting to receive. In this episode, Dr. Alison reflects on how limiting beliefs shape what we ask for, what we notice, and what we believe is available to us—and how God often meets us beyond those expectations. Today’s Scripture is: Acts 3:1–10 Go Deeper: Episode 10: What are Limiting Beliefs? Episode 106: Transform Limiting Beliefs Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When You’re Stuck in Your Head

There are moments when we find ourselves looping—replaying conversations, trying to make sense of what happened, analyzing every detail. We stay in our heads, searching for clarity This episode explores what it means to get stuck in our thoughts—and how, often, what we most need is not more analysis, but a return to presence, to relationship, and to the love already with us. Today’s Scripture is: Luke 24:13–35 Go Deeper: Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps Episode 158: The Hidden Pain Behind Distressing Thoughts Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Relearning Joy After Survival

Today’s Scripture is: Psalm 118 There are seasons in life when we are simply trying to get through. Holding it together. Managing what’s hard. Surviving. And then there comes a moment when something begins to shift. In this episode, Dr. Alison reflects on what it means to relearn joy after survival—and how joy can return, gently and gradually, as we begin to feel safe again. Go Deeper: Episode 172: Daring Joy & Breaking Free From Toxic Positivity with Nicole Zasowski Episode 188: Tiny Joys, Big Healing : Retraining the Brain for Hope with Dr. MaryCatherine Mcdonald Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices