How To Survive The Classroom

Should Superintendents Be Scared of Me?

This week? Oh, I just casually FIXED EDUCATION. You're welcome. Between moving houses (but like... literally down the street?) and talking to a room full of superintendents about what teachers really want to say (spoiler: they did not love the football metaphor), it's been A Week™. Also, y'all hit me with voicemails about peeing in bottles and damp key lanyards soaked in mystery liquids and somehow I still can’t stop laughing. Did I mention the AI shower head advice? It’s chaotic, it's honest, and it's the exact emotional fruit salad my life feels like right now. Takeaways: A student handed Andrea something “wet” after the bathroom—what it was (and why it was wet) will haunt you. Andrea meets with a room full of superintendents and gives them brutally honest feedback—some of it lands… and some of it crashes. How a pee-in-a-bottle moment sparked a conversation about bathroom policy, trust, and what really happens in the halls. Why today’s kids might be more germ-aware than ever—and what it has to do with sponges, pets, and pandemic toddlering. Andrea’s unexpected new DIY assistant: ChatGPT. Find out what she’s fixing, what it told her, and what it won’t help with. Teachers’ night out? Yes, please! Come see comedian Educator Andrea…Get your tickets at Teacherloungelive and Educatorandrea.com/tickets for laugh out loud Education! — Don’t Be Shy Come Say Hi: www.podcasterandrea.com Watch on YouTube: @educatorandrea A Human Content Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is This the Most Mortifying Moment in Classroom History?

This week’s episode swings wildly between "please tell me that didn’t just come out of my mouth" and "how is this legal in schools?" First, we’ve got a teacher who meant to say “stop jacking around” and... well, you can guess how that went. I lose it (obviously), because every teacher has had one of those moments where your brain short-circuits in front of 30 teenagers. Then, we flip the tone completely for a story that rocked me: a teacher gets repeated death threats from an anonymous student, every day, in Spanish, via Google Classroom. When the system failed her, she became her own detective, and the ending? Infuriating. Plus, I talk about being misread online, learning Spanish for real this time, and a resource that can actually save your life when it’s time to break instructions down step-by-step for 42 different learning styles. Takeaways: A teacher’s slip of the tongue turns into a room-wide freeze frame of secondhand embarrassment. One educator faces death threats for days—with no help from anyone but herself. I spiral about being called racist online… for liking authentic Mexican food too much? I commit (again) to learning Spanish—this time with Duolingo and vengeance. My favorite AI resource to break down multi-step directions into something even a kid on zero sleep can follow. Teachers’ night out? Yes, please! Come see comedian Educator Andrea…Get your tickets at Teacherloungelive and Educatorandrea.com/tickets for laugh out loud Education! — Don’t Be Shy Come Say Hi: www.podcasterandrea.com Watch on YouTube: @educatorandrea A Human Content Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How Did We Get from Science Class to Testicle Talk?

I started this episode already on edge because a mysterious chip in my windshield had me spiraling into a full-blown Safelite conspiracy. And if you think that was wild, just wait until you hear what one of your fellow teacher besties found smeared under a student’s desk. (Spoiler: it’s exactly what you’re afraid it is.) Then there’s the student who decided to learn about vasectomies during class. Yes, there’s a YouTube video involved. Yes, it’s exactly as horrifying as it sounds. Add in some waxer hygiene tips I did not ask for, a nostalgic trip to my Legoland days, and a surprisingly heartfelt moment about comedy and marriage—and you’ve got an episode that’ll make you laugh, gag, and maybe cry. All in a teacher’s day’s work, right? Takeaways: A science teacher hears a student say he wants a vasectomy—and the lesson goes completely off the rails from there. A pregnant teacher can’t figure out what’s making her nauseous… until she discovers a student’s shocking bathroom habit. I spiral into a full-on existential crisis over a chip in my windshield—and what Safelite may (or may not) be hiding. We talk about stirrups, tape, and the unexpected reality of vasectomy procedures. You’re welcome? One unexpected resource turns your average Lego set into a secret STEM learning machine—if you know where to look. Teachers’ night out? Yes, please! Come see comedian Educator Andrea…Get your tickets at Teacherloungelive and Educatorandrea.com/tickets for laugh out loud Education! — Don’t Be Shy Come Say Hi: www.podcasterandrea.com Watch on YouTube: @educatorandrea A Human Content Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did Kourtney Kardashian Just Cancel Public School?

This week I went full trash-TV-to-education-policy mode after Kourtney Kardashian called public school “dated” and bragged about homeschool like she invented it. And y’all… I have thoughts. We’re talking 1% privilege, educational history, and why calling schools outdated is actually the most outdated take of all. Then we pivot—hard—to some iconic voicemail chaos, including the loudest poop story I’ve ever heard and a kid who apparently mistook the restroom for a personal performance space. And yes, I ask the most important question of the day: would you ever let one rip in your classroom? Plus, I drop a bookish resource that I genuinely use and love (and that Courtney herself might wanna look into… just saying). Takeaways: Kourtney Kardashian said public school is “so dated”… and I might’ve blacked out from rage. One teacher shares what happens when your students want instant grades—and zero accountability. A bathroom story goes off the rails with moaning, shaking, and one of the weirdest hallway convos ever. I confess my deepest fart shame—and ask if you’ve ever taken the blame for your student’s. This week’s resource might just rescue your classroom library—and your bank account. Teachers’ night out? Yes, please! Come see comedian Educator Andrea…Get your tickets at Teacherloungelive and Educatorandrea.com/tickets for laugh out loud Education! — Join our Book Club: www.patreon.com/thosewhocanread Don’t Be Shy Come Say Hi: www.podcasterandrea.com Watch on YouTube: @educatorandrea A Human Content Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How Did a Normal School Day Turn Into a Raid?

This voicemail had me fully sweating. A teacher casually drops that a full SWAT team showed up at her school… and the kicker? It wasn’t even a drill. We’re talking lockdowns, military gear, weapons drawn, and a group of students who were just trying to get to lunch. And the reason they showed up? Ohhhh, you are not ready. I spiral through the possibilities, ask all the wrong questions, and react in real-time to what is possibly the most over-the-top, under-explained escalation in school discipline history. If you’ve ever wondered what it feels like to go from supervising recess to being in the middle of a tactical operation, this one’s for you. Takeaways: A voicemail about a SWAT team storming a school sends me into a full-body spiral, because the reason? Unhinged. Another caller shares what happened when a vending machine break-in led to a full-on student confession… and some unexpected admin energy. We talk about what happens when the punishment doesn’t match the crime and whether schools are just winging it at this point. I try to get serious (briefly) about boundaries, blame, and how kids process consequences even when the adults aren’t getting it right. And for anyone trying to survive this week intact, I drop a resource that might actually help you feel like a human again. — Join our Book Club: www.patreon.com/thosewhocanread Don’t Be Shy Come Say Hi: www.podcasterandrea.com Watch on YouTube: @educatorandrea A Human Content Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices