Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

Threats and Bribes Aren't Very Helpful (What to Do Instead)

A parent wants to get out of a cycle of bribing her 3.5-year old and writes to Janet for help. “It seems that in order to get him to do anything, I have to offer a reward, treat, or special outing.” If these strategies don’t work, she says, she will threaten to take something away. This mom admits that she is a people pleaser, so when she does set a boundary, she feels guilty about it. She worries that she’s teaching this to her son. “I don’t want him to feel guilty about his feelings or his boundaries.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Finally! A One-Size-Fits-All Approach to Our Kids' Behavior

Every child is certainly unique, but when it comes to their behavior, we can sometimes complicate a situation that might really be quite simple to address. This week Janet shares an email from a parent who says her nearly 4-year-old has lately been argumentative and having meltdowns over the smallest things. "She seems to want to self-sabotage and create problems where there are none." This parent has tried to be consistent in her responses but to no avail. "Is it a cry for attention?" she wonders. "Either way we're not making any progress or seeing the light at the end of the tunnel."  A second note comes from the mother of a 4.5-year old looking for book recommendations "for guidance on how to help her follow our instructions more readily." Janet recommends a single solution for both these parents.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

3 Secrets to Raising Grateful Kids

As parents, we do our best to raise kind, thoughtful, appreciative kids. But despite our efforts, our children can sometimes seem downright ungrateful. In this episode, a mom writes to Janet about her frustrations with her sons, aged six and four. Rather than appreciate the gifts and special outings she treats them to, they inevitably ask for more, more, more and then complain when she won't give it to them. "It feels like nonstop unhappiness when I'm trying so hard to make them happy." This mom wonders if perhaps it's expecting too much of her kids to feel grateful when they are legitimately disappointed, but she wants them to learn to focus on the positive. Janet offers her perspective on what causes children to behave this way and offers three suggestions that can help our kids to appreciate the efforts we make for them.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Best Response to Our Children's Turbulent Emotions

Janet responds to emails from parents who describe struggling with their children’s strong emotions. One writes that her 2-year-old rejects her comfort when he has a meltdown. “It breaks my heart, and I feel like I must be doing something wrong.” Another writes that her 7-year-old says he doesn’t feel love from his mother. Another email describes how a 3-year-old’s tantrums last all afternoon and into the evening, disrupting the rest of the family’s routine, and they “all feel trapped by a 3-year-old.” And a therapist observes that her child holds in emotions in front of family and peers. In this encore episode, Janet identifies the common thread in all these situations and offers a hopeful answer to weather the storms. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How to Boost Your Child's Self-Confidence

We all aspire for our children to grow up with a positive self-image and an abundance of self-confidence. When life throws our child a dilemma, it’s our natural instinct to want to fix it, or at least work them through the uncomfortable feelings with a pep talk. In this encore episode, Janet answers questions from three listeners and offers a more helpful – albeit counterintuitive – perspective that can help children learn resilience and find the kind of confidence in themselves that lasts a lifetime. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠ and ⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠. Her best-selling books ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠"Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ are available wherever books are sold. Please Support Our Sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices