Undiscussable

TalkRadio - Educating yourself out of abuse

We’ve covered so many different themes within domestic abuse and family trauma, and shown how important it is we speak about it with inclusivity. It’s a pattern of behaviour to gain control over another. It is sadly far more common than we care to admit and still very much seen as a bit too close to home and uncomfortable to talk about because frankly it’s to do with family and personal relationships it’s embroiled in the confusion of what we believe is a loved one or someone that is supposed to take care of us, causing the harm.There is so much more to delve into but I hope it’s shown why opening up this forum is essential for our community and for our children. Breaking the cycle is the only way the future generations will look back and ask ‘what was domestic abuse?’ - and to break the cycle it’s all about education.The final incredible individual I’d like to introduce you too is Shana. She spent her young life in domestic abuse as the day to day norm and then right through adulthood until just 2 years ago. It’s far more than the abuse that happened to her though that kept her in it, it was the fact she was never taught to understand what it actually was or the fact that her being a victim of it wasn’t something that was wrong with her and she had to be a certain way because of this but something that happened to her.Thank you Shana for sharing your story with us.Joining us is Vishali Ravalia and Aaron Hill, both senior project workers at The Phoenix Project, a Barnardo's initiative that works directly with children and young people to minimise the impact of conflict on their emotional health and well-being. The project takes a restorative approach to build stronger family relationships. And moves away from the traditional labels of victim and perpetrator.If you can relate to anything we've talked about please know that people understand and can support you through.Please check out www.barnardos.org.uknapac.org.uk - who have some very helpful resources for adult survivors of child abuse of any form.And www.safelives.org.uk who have a wealth of resources to find the right help for you.You can also contact me via twitter or instagramThank you for listening.Undiscussable is supported by the Audio Content Fund and backed by TalkRadio.

TalkRadio - Growing up in Domestic Abuse

This episode is very close to my own heart, voices that so often go unheard in the conversation around domestic abuse but actually in society as a whole are children. Which is ironic given how much money and resources are spent picking up the pieces of childhood trauma as adults, never mind children’s lives that are lost and debilitated due to the lack of prioritization of early intervention and prevention. It’s very easy for us to demonise a young person’s behaviour instead of looking beyond what they are having to deal with in their young lives. I could sit all evening telling you about what being brought up in fear on a day to day basis does to somebody, but also not being taught to love or be loved, and it is mixed up in a confusion of love and abuse, this person's my parent they’re supposed to protect me, love me… but I wanted you to hear from both the perspective of an adult survivor in his 30’s who didn’t receive support as a young boy and a young girl who’s currently being supported by the Opening Closed Doors Project in Gwent, Wales.Thank you to Dave and Carys for having the courage to share their stories with us.Joining us for this episode is Erin Jobb, Barnardo’s Northern Ireland Children’s Services Manager and has been working as a social worker with children and families for over 20 years in relation to child protection.If this is something that affects or has affected you. Please know that you can heal and the fact that you’ve survived all this means you are incredibly strong and brave. If you’re an adult that suffered as a child, please check out NAPAC.org.uk they have some fantastic resources online to help with emotional support and a support line. If you’re worried about a child please check out Barnardo’s.org.uk. You can also contact me via twitter or instagramThank you for listening. Undiscussable is supported by the Audio Content Fund and backed by TalkRadio.

TalkRadio - Domestic Abuse in the LGBT+ community

In the last episode of Undiscussable, we looked at male victims of domestic abuse, with, the perpetrator being a woman. This week we’re going to look the experience in a same-sex relationship and the LGBT+ community. Just a note that I’m using the term LGBT+ but it’s also important to keep in mind this isn’t a generalisation and the identities and needs of people are unique. Domestic abuse being thought of as gendered by nature dominates the conversation and often is framed in a heterosexual relationship, and that victims are all straight women.Something we’ve been addressing through this series but I would like to highlight is that partner abuse is a systematic pattern of behaviours where one person attempts to exert power and control over the thoughts, beliefs, and/or actions of their partner, someone they are dating or have/had an intimate relationship with.LGBT+ victims of domestic abuse are twice as likely to have experienced abuse by a family member in childhood.This is what happened to Gavin, who we hear from in this episode. He had a childhood of abuse and neglect, and then as a young man was sexually exploited multiple times.Domestic abuse also happens in lesbian relationships. Jessica has bravely shared her story with us, she is no longer with her abusive partner but still fears her and had to move to a completely new area to escape her.GuestsDuncan Craig OBE and CEO of Survivors ManchesterAmy manager of the National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse HelplineThank you to Gavin and Jessica. And Duncan and Amy.If there’s anything you can relate to please contact Galop, they welcome anyone from the LGBT+ community and the national LGBT domestic abuse helpline is 0800 999 5428 and email: help@galop.org.uk And the national domestic abuse helpline ran by Refuge is 08082000247 and please contact mankind.org.uk for male victims. Survivors Manchester.org.uk - Duncan Craig’s organisation.Please do check out The I Am … Project survey iamproject.org if you feel able to take part, it focuses on intimate partner relationships within the LGBTQ+ community. Supported by SafeLives, Stonewall, UK Black Pride and The British LGBT Awards, to identify the prevalence of domestic abuse across the LGBTQ+ community.Thank you for listening.Undiscussable has been backed by the Audio Content Fund for a special 8 part series with national radio station TalkRadio in the UK. It is on every Friday during drivetime at 6:30 pm featuring interviews with survivors from across society and includes live discussion and expert support.

TalkRadio - Experiencing domestic abuse as a male by a female perpetrator

In our very first episode of this series we featured, Ollie, who had escaped his abusive relationship at the beginning of lockdown, he lost his job and his home.He really struggled not only with the years of trauma and isolation he'd suffered but identifying what he'd gone through, as domestic abuse, a common theme we are seeing throughout this, male or female.This week we're going to focus on experiencing domestic abuse as a man by a female perpetrator. A narrative that is often dismissed and seen as controversial.Robert, a former military police officer shares his story with us not only about what he went through in domestic abuse but what happened to him when he called for help.More men are coming forward but aren't actively included in the discussion on a political or societal level and as a symptom of this aren't taken seriously.Statistics show that a third of domestic abuse victims are men and three times more likely than women not to tell anyone.GUESTS:Mark Brooks, Chair of the ManKind InitiativeLuke, a survivor of domestic abuseDeborah Powney, PhD Psychology Candidate specialising in male and female victims of intimate partner violence.Help and Support:https://www.mankind.org.uk/CALL 01823 334244Confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse and domestic violenceWeekdays 10am to 4pmWomen’s Aid live chat is on the Women's Aid website. https://www.womensaid.org.uk/National Domestic abuse helpline 08082000247Samaritans 116123Call 999 if in immediate dangerUndiscussable has been backed by the Audio Content Fund for a special 8 part series with national radio station TalkRadio in the UK. It is on every Friday during drivetime at 6:30pm featuring interviews with survivors from across society and includes live discussion and expert support.

TalkRadio - When religious traditions are manipulated to abuse

Religious traditions can be used as a weapon by an abuser to justify their abusive behaviours, and exert power and manipulate their victim.Anything can be used as a behaviour in domestic abuse, career, finances, blame, children, sex, faith...inculding cultural and religious beliefs.Abeera tells us her story of how her dedication to her Islamic faith was used to emotionally abuse and control her.Guests:breaks down misconceptions of Islamic faith and tells of how important it is we educate the community.AbdulWahid StephensonFounder of Madinah CollegeResearcher and lecturer, also does mediation and pre-marriage coaching.Ruth StearnsSafe & Together Institute and survivor of religious abuse. https://safeandtogetherinstitute.com/about-us/staff-faculty/ruth-stearns/Help and Support:https://www.mankind.org.uk/CALL 01823 334244Confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse and domestic violenceWeekdays 10am to 4pmWomen’s Aid live chat is on the Women's Aid website. https://www.womensaid.org.uk/National Domestic abuse helpline 08082000247Samaritans 116123Call 999 if in immediate dangerUndiscussable has been backed by the Audio Content Fund for a special 8 part series with national radio station TalkRadio in the UK. It is on every Friday during drivetime at 6:30pm featuring interviews with survivors from across society and includes live discussion and expert support.