16 - Six Things To Do When The Kids Are Driving You Crazy

I'm Bill Corbett, the author of the book LOVE, LIMITS & LESSONS: A PARENT'S GUIDE TO RAISING COOPERATIVE KIDS and I've spent over 25 years working with parents and teachers with children with challenging behaviors. By listening to this creating cooperative kids podcast, you'll learn techniques for getting your kids to cooperate with you and the result will be having children who are more loving and fun to be with. These techniques are respectful to both you and your child and when practiced over and over, you'll find yourself with more peace and calmness in your home or in your classroom if you're a teacher. 

On today's episode, psychotherapist Lisa Barrett and I got together to offer parents some advice who feel like their children are driving them crazy. We came up with six specific things that parents can begin practicing immediately and if they do, they may see immediate changes in their child's behavior. Lisa is a licensed professional counselor and registered art therapist, and author of the new book LAUGHTER, WISDOM AND INNOCENCE: SURPRISING QUOTES FROM CHILDREN. Something special you should know about Lisa is that she designed the Sandy Hook Memorial Fountain located in Portland, CT, that was created in honor of the 26 souls lost in the Sandy Hook Elementary School masacre in 2012 in Newtown, CT.

Let's break the six tips down to summarize what you heard in this episode. First of all, as Lisa revealed, the most important responsibility you have as a parent is to always take good care of yourself first. I know it's easier said then done, but you owe it to your children to make the time to recharge your batteries. I'll be spending more time on this huge topic in a future episode so just know that there's more to come on this one.

The second thing we mentioned was ensuring that you are modeling appropriate behavior in front of your children. If you want your children taking good care of themselves, you first have to show them what it looks like... you have to take care of you. If you want your children to speak calmly and respectfully, you have to do it first so they'll know what it looks like. If you want your children to be kind to others, you have to demonstrate it in front of them. I like to say to fathers, little boys will grow up learning how to treat little girls by the way his father treats his mother.

The third thing we brought up was in the story I shared about my son responding to the bully who wanted to take his bike for a ride. It's a technique that I used as an alternative to the word NO. Now I do believe that parents need to comfortable saying no to their children but there are others ways of saying it. So instead of saying the word NO to my children, I would use the phrase, "I'm not willing." 

The fourth tip we shared was coming up with consequences with your child and then, as Lisa stated, giving your child the power of choosing the misbehavior or the consequence. Consequences is a big topic that can be challenging, so stay tuned for more episodes on this one and even a new online course I'm in the process of developing. 

The fifth tip was speaking calmly and at your child's eye level. Doing this one very important thing ties back to demonstrating respect for your child. The more you do it, the more they see it, the more likely they will imitate it.

Finally, the last tip was in the story I offered regarding my ADHD intense granddaughter Aurora and our trip to the indoor butterfly conservatory located in Deerfield, Massachusetts. That day was such a memorable experience for me because I really got to see the inner workings of my granddaughters mind. 

If you have questions that I can answer for you, I hope you will consider joining my RAISING AN INDEPENDENT CHILD Facebook page. I'd love to hear from you and help you implement some of these ideas. But let me caution you. Don't try to implement everything you learn in this podcast, all at once. It could overwhelm you. Pick just one or two tips at a time and do them over and over. Then replay the episodes at a later time to learn more. If you need more clarification or help with implementing my tips, contact me on my Facebook page and I'll help you make them work. Thanks again for listening and please consider subscribing. All information in this podcast is the property of Bill Corbett and Cooperative Kids Publishing. Copyright 2022. All rights reserved.