Supporting your partner and yourself, when you’re not the birth parent

Alex Fisher stood in the doorway of the hospital room holding her daughter Luca, just moments old, as her wife Lauren was rushed into emergency surgery for a massive haemorrhage. Her mind turned to the worst-case scenario. Would Lauren make it? 

The first few years of parenthood had been tough for both of them, and Alex had tried to stay strong for Lauren, who had perinatal anxiety and depression after giving birth to their first daughter Ivy.  

After all that Lauren had been through, Alex didn’t feel like it was her place to speak up, and she didn’t really know how or who to talk to. But as Lauren physically recovered from the traumatic birth, Alex realised that she needed to seek help to help her in her role as a parent and a wife. 

When you're not the one carrying the baby, it can be easy to forget that you’re also going through all the ups and downs of new parenthood.  

And when you’re supporting your partner through a perinatal mental health crisis it’s easy to let your own mental health take a back seat. 

Alex and Lauren Fisher share how they navigated this time, how Alex helped Lauren and in turn got help herself.  

Survive and Thrive is a PANDA podcast, produced by Deadset Studios 

Visit panda.org.au for more support.

Family violence support: 

It’s important to know that there is a risk during this time in your life that family violence will get worse, or it may start for the first time. If you’re worried about safety in your relationship, support is available. 

1800 RESPECT (support for people affected by family violence): 1800 737 732 or 1800respect.org.au (24/7) 
 

Speak to PANDA: 

Call the PANDA Helpline on 1300 726 306 (9am-7:30pm Monday-Saturday AEST). 

The Helpline provides a safe and confidential space for any new or expecting parent struggling with the challenges of becoming a new parent. 

Our highly trained and caring counsellors can help you work through your challenges by talking openly and honestly about your thoughts, feelings and experiences. 

Partners, family members and friends can also call, as can health professionals supporting expecting and new parents. 
 

More resources: 

Pregnancy, Birth and Baby Helpline: 1800 882 436 (24/7) 

Lifeline: 13 11 14 (24/7) or lifeline.org.au (12pm to midnight) 

Suicide Callback Service: 1300 659 467 or suicidecallbackservice.org.au (24/7) 

QLife: 1800 184 527 or qlife.org.au (3PM to midnight) 

Mensline: 1300 78 99 78 or mensline.org.au (24/7) 
 

If you need help now: 

If you are concerned about your safety or that of a loved one, please call 000 or visit your local hospital emergency department. 

Acknowledgement:

PANDA acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the land where we work and live and where this podcast is made. We pay our respects to Elders past, present and emerging. We celebrate the stories, culture and traditions of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Elders of all communities who also work and live on this land. 

We recognise the individual and collective contributions of people with a lived and/or living experience of mental health issues, their families, loved ones and supporters.  

Each person’s journey is unique and a valued contribution to Australia’s commitment to PANDA's work and mental health systems reform.  

It is through listening to and acting on the voices of people with lived experience, that those who provide services, those who fund services, and most importantly, those who use services that we will find the information we need to move towards the mental health system Australia needs.   

Every person’s story we hear, every experience shared, helps to develop our understanding of the system that is required to best meet the needs of Australians living with mental health issues, their families, loved ones and supporters. 

 

CREDITS 

Host: Gia Hogarth 

PANDA Digital Editor: Serena Ashmore 

PANDA Commissioning Editor: Bec Shafer 

Deadset Studios Senior Producer: Grace Pashley 

Deadset Studios Executive Producer: Rachel Fountain 

Sound Design by Krissy Miltiadou