Natasha has a surprise new job in That London and has to move there on Christmas Eve and she’s taking a reluctant Sam with her. Toyah and Imran take custody of wee Mason but have to rely on Gemma to be taught the importance of an armpit dummy and an empty plastic bottle. Todd and Will’s machinations are predictably causing a rift between Paul and Billy, the latter of whom makes Billy Bob Thornton seem a Decent Santa by comparison. Chesney and Kirk are forced to resort to a Plan B when their stall takings and stock are stolen, although we never find out what that plan is, or if the only thing Joseph gets for Christmas is a bath. DS Whatever is closing in on Gary, which makes it a very inopportune moment for Kelly the Chin to turn up again looking for an update on her dad’s whereabouts. Last week’s Bistro shenanigans may well be the final straw for David and Shona unless the spirit of the season and a six foot cuddly rabbit can do something about it. Christmas proves difficult for Yasmeen until Tim’s Mum arrives with some timely advice. A cheesecake is used as a metaphor. Lily inhales beads. Leanne has a moussaka in the oven. Tim gets a decades-worth of back presents. Everyone splits up.
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