Married Name Choices - Taylor Swift or Kelce - Should Women Always Take Their Husband’s Last Name with Author Melania Joy Murphy

Episode 240 - Married Name Choices - Taylor Swift or Kelce - Should Women Always Take Their Husband's Last Name with Author Melania Joy Murphy

In this thought-provoking episode of The Dad Space Podcast, host Dave welcomes author and journalist Melania Murphy to discuss her new book, Bound By Love, Not Tradition. The conversation dives deep into the history, culture, and personal dimensions of how and why married couples make decisions about their names – a topic that blends tradition, identity, and empowerment in surprising ways.

Melania shares how her own curiosity as a journalist and her background in behavioral science led her to explore the often unquestioned traditions surrounding married names. She aims to help women, especially first and second-time brides, feel empowered to make intentional choices that honor both their individuality and their partnerships. Through her research and conversations with readers, she uncovered remarkable stories, cultural contrasts, and legal histories from around the world.

Listeners learn the historical roots of customs like women wearing veils, the meaning behind “Mrs.” as “wife of,” and the old British laws of coverture, which once made a woman's legal identity merge with her husband's. Melania uses these insights to show how naming traditions evolved and how modern couples can continue shaping them.

She introduces her SELF framework – Significance, Empowerment, Legacy, and Freedom – a model that encourages introspection and open communication between partners. Through it, couples can weigh the meaning of their names, express what’s important to them, consider family heritage, and understand the freedoms allowed by modern law. Melania also shares relatable, often lighthearted stories, such as couples flipping coins or playing rock-paper-scissors at the altar to decide whose name to take, and others merging names entirely to invent something new.

The discussion moves from history to humor to heartfelt advice for dads and families learning to support their children through nontraditional choices. Melania emphasizes the importance of curiosity and compassion—reminding listeners that traditions evolve, and name choices can be as unique as the couples themselves.

Key Takeaway:

Names are more than tradition—they reflect identity, equality, and partnership. Empowered relationships start with open, judgment-free conversations about what feels authentic for both partners.

Learn more about Melania’s work and pick up her book at melaniajoy.com or your favorite bookstore.

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music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270