Get What You Need At Work (Without Making It ”About You”) with Stew Friedman

2026-01-06

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Asking for what you need at work wasn’t an accommodation, but a leadership skill. In this episode, I sit down with Stew Friedman, the pioneer of Total Leadership and founding director of Wharton’s Work-Life Integration Project, to rethink how we approach work, life, and leadership. We talk about why so many high performers feel guilty asking for flexibility, time, or support and why leaders who understand their whole lives are actually better, more sustainable performers. Stew also breaks down the Total Leadership model, which centers on being real, being whole, and bei...

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In this Episode, You Will Learn

00:00 Why asking for what you need at work feels like an accommodation.

06:00 How work, home, community, and self must work together.

10:00 Why self-knowledge is the foundation of sustainable leadership.

17:45 What “four-way win” experiments look like in life.

22:15 Why flexibility works best when framed as mutual value.

27:30 How leaders unintentionally block agency on their teams.

32:30 What is the biggest mistake people make when asking for support?

38:30 What mental health and leadership have in common.

43:30 Why different minds require different leadership models.

49:00 What makes us whole?