Can’t Stop Obsessing About Them? Limerence vs Love and How to Manage Unhealthy Feelings | Love | E500

There’s a particular kind of emotional stuckness that’s hard to explain until you’ve lived it — the constant thinking about someone, replaying conversations, scanning for meaning in small moments, and slowly realizing that your inner world has begun to revolve around another person. That’s the experience we’re talking about today.

In this episode, psychologist Orly Miller joins me for a thoughtful conversation about limerence vs love, and why intense longing can sometimes cross a line into something that feels more consuming than connecting. We talk about what limerence actually is, how it differs from healthy romantic attachment, and why it can be so difficult to move out of once you’re in it. For anyone quietly wondering how to stop limerence, this conversation offers clarity, language, and relief without judgment.

As you listen, I invite you to notice how uncertainty, hope, and emotional focus may be shaping your experience of love,  and what might shift if more of that energy were returned to you, rather than staying fixed on someone else.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Loving Too Much: When Longing Becomes Painful

01:42 How Limerence Shows Up in Real Life

08:52 What Limerence Is (and What It Isn’t)

11:00 Limerence vs Love: Why Healthy Love Moves Forward

17:55 The Three Ways Limerence Can Exist

20:47 Hope and Doubt: What Keeps Limerence Alive

22:34 When Limerence Becomes Unhealthy

33:06 Inside a Limerent Episode

42:52 Why Healing Isn’t About the Other Person

44:54 Reclaiming Yourself and Moving Forward

When patterns like these start to come into focus, it can bring relief, and also raise questions about what comes next. If this conversation stirred something for you and you’d like thoughtful support while you sort through it, I’d love to invite you to schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my Growing Self team.

This is a private, secure space where you’ll answer a few simple questions about what’s been happening in your relationships and emotional life, and what you’d like to feel differently. From there, we’ll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can move forward with clarity, self-trust, and care,  instead of staying stuck in patterns that no longer serve you.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast:

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