163 The Many Faces of Trauma | When the Body Learns Danger: What Trauma Is (and Isn’t)

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Trauma isn’t only about what happened—it’s about what happened inside your nervous system when an experience was too much, too fast, too soon, or too long, without enough support, choice, or protection. In this episode, we clarify what trauma is (and isn’t), using simple, polyvagal-informed language—so you can replace shame and confusion with understanding. You’ll also be guided through a short grounding practice you can use anytime.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• A clear, compassionate definition of trauma that goes beyond the “one big event” narrative
• Why two people can experience similar events and be impacted differently
• The difference between stress and trauma (and why that matters)
• Why trauma responses are adaptations, not character flaws
• How trauma can be remembered as sensations, triggers, and patterns—not just a story
• A simple polyvagal lens: safety & connection, mobilised protection (fight/flight), and shutdown protection
• A short, trauma-neutral grounding practice to support regulation

Gentle reminders

• Trauma is not a competition. You don’t need to justify your pain.
• If your body reacts while listening—tightness, racing thoughts, numbness—this is information, not failure.
• You’re invited to pause, skip ahead, or return later. Your pace matters.

Check the website for the free resources offered for both those affected by trauma and those supporting them.

Coming next: Small t, Big T—and the Missing Middle
We’ll explore why these terms can be helpful, where they can become misleading, and how to use them without comparison or shame.

Share this episode with someone who…

• Minimises their experience (“It wasn’t that bad…”)
• Feels confused by their reactions (“Why am I like this?”)
• Supports others and wants a clearer, kinder framework for understanding trauma

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