EP 40: How to Be Quality so You Attract Quality: The Secret to High Performance Dating with Coach Dar

What if you approached dating the same way high performers approach everything else in their lives—with intention, strategy, and a commitment to excellence? Today I'm sitting down with Coach Dar, a mental performance coach who works with pro athletes and executives, and she's breaking down why quality attracts quality and what it actually takes to show up as quality in the dating world.

Here's the truth: If you're not doing the work to be quality, you won't attract quality. And that work isn't about changing who you are—it's about sharpening yourself, knowing yourself deeply, and bringing your best to the table. Coach Dar shares why confidence in dating is really about psychological safety, why you need to treat choosing a partner like you're vetting a billion-dollar business deal, and the exact questions to ask on first dates that reveal true alignment.

We're talking about slowing down instead of rushing into physical connection, doing your due diligence before committing, and why the person you choose is the biggest business deal you'll ever make for your finances, health, and quality of life. This conversation is for anyone who's ready to approach dating like a high performer—intentionally, strategically, and with standards.

Whether you're tired of repeating the same patterns, wondering why you keep attracting the wrong people, or just ready to level up how you show up in dating—this episode will give you the framework to date differently.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

• Why quality attracts quality—and what it takes to BE quality
• How to treat choosing a partner like a billion-dollar business deal (do your due diligence)
• The exact work you need to do to show up as your best self in dating
• Why confidence is really about creating psychological safety
• First date questions that reveal true alignment (not small talk)
• How to slow down, communicate clearly, and date with real standards

"Who you bring into your life is the biggest business deal you will ever make in your life—for your finances, your health, your quality of life. If you don't do your due diligence and talk this through and figure out who each other are and slow the roll, you will repeat patterns of picking the wrong person."

- Coach Dar

CONNECT WITH COACH DAR:

Coach Dar is a world-class mental skills coach who works with professional athletes, executives, and high performers navigating pressure, identity, and resilience. With a background as an occupational therapist specializing in neuroscience and neuropsych, Coach Dar brings a unique approach to mindset work—helping people go from where they are to where they want to be through the power of their mind and human behavior. She's the author of The Art of Bouncing Back and speaks around the country on confidence, communication, and human connection.

Coach Dar's Instagram: @thecoachdar

Coach Dar's Website

Order your copy of The Art of Bouncing Back right here!

CONNECT WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠

STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:

We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠

Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠

✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.