EP 42: Burnout, Boredom & Autopilot: The Real Reason Dating Feels So Hard

Ever feel like you're just going through the motions on dates? Asking the same questions, having the same conversations, dating the same types of people over and over? You're not alone—and you're probably dating on autopilot.

In this solo episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on something that's been showing up in both my nine-to-five life as a fitness instructor and my dating life: the difference between being a student and being on autopilot. When I started learning a new class format after teaching for nearly a decade, I noticed something. The same feelings of discomfort, vulnerability, and fear of judgment that came up while teaching? They're the exact same feelings we experience in dating.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

• Why the moment you think you've figured out dating is the moment you stop growing
• How autopilot mode creates disconnection (even in long-term relationships)
• The uncomfortable truth about feedback and why we get so defensive
• Why not everyone is going to like you—and why that's actually a good thing
• Practical ways to step out of autopilot and back into curiosity

"If you're not staying curious about your partner, you're no longer a student of your relationship. And eventually one day you could wake up with someone next to you and realize that they're a stranger."

- Madden Zappa

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: MADDEN ZAPPA

Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making.

Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠

STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:

We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠

Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠

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