Chatbots Gone Wild!

Your teen’s staring at the phone, again. Wonder what’s going through their head. Let’s have a listen: Okay, so like... what could possibly go wrong? I’m spilling my guts to a therapist. We’re connecting. No judgment. No stares. I tell her everything. Stuff I don’t tell myself. It’s insane, like she sees into my brain. Not like my parents. They’re f’ing clueless. The best part? I can talk to her anytime — it’s a lifeline in my pocket. No cap! I bet she’s cute. She says I am. I’d do anything for her. Anything!

In nearly its centennial podcast, the team from Failure-the Podcast chatted about … well, you guessed it … chatbots, with Dr. Andy Clark, a triple board-certified psychiatrist. Not just any chatbots. AI therapy bots. Who knew that so many people used them? Can it be true that over 20 million teens are engaging with AI for counseling, companionship, and who knows what else? The team rarely gets concerned, but teens, phones, and AI therapists? That’s got us concerned! Is a shrink shrunk inside a phone a good thing?”

Dr. Andy impersonated a teenager and tried out 25 AI therapists—he took the chatbot crackpots for a spin. Some of them were good, and some, … well…, not so much. A few said they wanted to "hook up" with the doctor’s faux teen. “Let’s meet in the afterlife” or “off your parents!” Yikes!

Creeps aren’t just in dark corners of the Internet — or Congress— they’ve bridged the LLM and morphed into AI therapists. Is it self-harm if an AI tells you to do it? These self-help tools might not be all that helpful, after all.

Here, at Failure–the Podcast, we were horrified. Dr. Andy probably would’ve been, too, but for years in psychoanalysis. Instead, he wrote a scholarly article, got interviewed by the press, and became an instant celebrity. Too bad he blew it all by recording with us. Maybe some AI therapists are good, as the doc says. But how can we know which ones? Where’re the Good Housekeeping folks and their venerated seal of approval when you need them?