From People Pleasing to Self-Trust: Breaking the Cycle of Fawning with Ingrid Clayton

In this episode, Dr. Ingrid Clayton explains how to start moving from people pleasing to self-trust and breaking the cycle of fawning, which is the compulsion to appease others to stay safe. She shares her personal and clinical insights on how fawning develops, its impact on self-identity, and the challenges of healing. Dr. Clayton also discusses therapy approaches, the importance of self-trust, and practical steps for breaking the fawning pattern, emphasizing the value of curiosity, self-compassion, and gradual, body-based healing in reclaiming one’s authentic voice and boundaries.

Exciting News!!! Coming in March, 2026, my new book, ⁠⁠⁠⁠How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life is now available for pre-orders!⁠⁠⁠⁠

Key Takeaways:

• Discussion of the trauma response known as “fawning” as a coping mechanism.
• Exploration of the challenges of setting boundaries for individuals who fawn.
• Examination of the differences between fawning and other trauma responses like fight, flight, and freeze.
• Personal stories illustrating the impact of fawning in childhood and adulthood.
• The importance of nervous system regulation in healing from trauma.
• Clarification of the distinctions between fawning, people pleasing, and codependency.
• The role of self-awareness and body-based practices in recognizing and addressing fawning.
• Discussion on the complexities of healing and the individual nature of recovery journeys.
• Critique of common therapeutic advice and the need for trauma-informed approaches.
• Emphasis on the importance of self-trust and curiosity in the healing process.

For full show notes: ⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠!

If you enjoyed this conversation with Ingrid Clayton, check out these other episodes:

How to Break the People-Pleasing Cycle and Set Healthy Boundaries with Terri Cole

How to Set Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab

Conversations for Radical Alignment with Alex Jamieson and Bob Gower

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