Bed Time Story: The Technical Categorization of Canadian Grain

Fall asleep to one of the deepest, most soothing voices you've ever heard reading the most inconsequential material there is.

Tonight, we journey to the prairie provinces to audit the microscopic standards of the harvest. Fall asleep to the Canadian Grain Quality Protocol—the definitive technical specification for the categorization of agricultural exports. We will review the mechanical use of the Cox Funnel for density, the thermal corrections of the Model 919 moisture meter, and the visual identification of kernel anatomy including the brush, the cheek, and the crease. Find comfort in the unyielding quality of the technical record.

This technical reading is designed to replace conventional bed time stories with structured boredom. An alternative to standard short bed time stories, this episode offers the focus of a sleep meditation podcast that can also soothe adult ADHD. Deeply Unimportant's adult bed time stories consist of pure, unchallenging data—sleep stories meant to be ignored.

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