Do you know how to disagree with your kid without a fight breaking out?
Most of us have been told that the fix for a bad disagreement is more empathy — really try to see it from their side. But Julia Minson, negotiation researcher at Harvard's Kennedy School, joins Dr. Aliza Pressman to share what her experimental research actually shows: telling someone to "try harder to empathize" barely changes the outcome of a conflict. Instead, Julia and Aliza dig into why disagreement has gotten so much more fraught in families, what really makes s...
Do you know how to disagree with your kid without a fight breaking out?
Most of us have been told that the fix for a bad disagreement is more empathy — really try to see it from their side. But Julia Minson, negotiation researcher at Harvard's Kennedy School, joins Dr. Aliza Pressman to share what her experimental research actually shows: telling someone to "try harder to empathize" barely changes the outcome of a conflict. Instead, Julia and Aliza dig into why disagreement has gotten so much more fraught in families, what really makes someone feel heard, and a concrete, teachable framework for disagreeing with your kids, your partner, or anyone else without torching the relationship.
What you’ll learn:
Why "try to see it from their perspective" doesn't actually work, according to the research
"Listening with your words": the specific language that proves you're actually paying attention
The "curiosity sandwich" — a script for disagreeing without abandoning your own point of view
Argue, don't fight: how to model constructive disagreement in front of your kids
The HEAR framework: hedge, emphasize agreement, acknowledge, and reframe to the positive
🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS:
📖 Buy Julia Minson's book, How to Disagree Better
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/774525/how-to-disagree-better-by-julia-minson/
📱 Follow Raising Good Humans Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/
📧 Follow Raising Good Humans with Dr. Aliza Pressman on Substack: https://dralizapressman.substack.com/
🎙️ Follow Raising Good Humans Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044
📖Order "The 5 Principles of Parenting" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://www.amazon.com/Principles-Parenting-Essential-Raising-Humans/dp/166801453X
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