Ely Winkler on Growing Up Orthodox, Coming Out, Finding Eshel, and Helping LGBTQ+ Jews Build Belonging Without Choosing Between Faith and Identity | Conversations with Alan

In this episode of Conversations with Alan, I’m joined by Ely Winkler, Director of Advancement for Eshel, for an honest and deeply personal conversation about faith, identity, and belonging.

Ely shares his journey growing up Orthodox as the son of a rabbi, navigating the fear and uncertainty of coming out, and searching for a place where he could live authentically without abandoning his faith. He reflects on pivotal moments—from working behind the scenes on a groundbreaking panel at Yeshiva University to feeling disconnected from synagogue life, and ultimately finding his way back home.

We talk about the profound impact of discovering Eshel, what it meant for Ely personally, and how his work there now helps LGBTQ+ individuals, families, rabbis, and communities build more inclusive Orthodox spaces. Ely also speaks movingly about lessons learned from his rabbi father, the power of compassion, and how change often happens quietly—one conversation at a time.

This episode offers thoughtful insight, practical wisdom, and hope for anyone interested in questions of identity, tradition, and what it truly means to belong.