Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' April entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.
Among the selections are the hapless but unifying body language of a player who doesn't know where the ball is, a genuinely worrying peripheral astroturf hang-up, the downsides of teams from the same country being drawn together in Europe and the impact of the iPad on managerial decorum after their team has conceded a very specific type of goal.
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The Adjudication Panel: Pep's ice cream van, popping up with a goal & an "absolute football club”
Hi-tech hoardings & tactically illiterate World XIs: The listeners' loves & hates
The Adjudication Panel: "Why can't they go on and win it?"
The Adjudication Panel: Mid-2000s Premier League antiques & how the square goalpost met its end
The Adjudication Panel: Four-star Haaland & the most elaborate football analogy in modern politics
Gary Lineker meets Cliches: Why aren't strikers rounding the goalkeeper any more?
The Adjudication Panel: Winning the "hard way" and the Missing Piece of the Jigsaw XI
The Football Cliches Quiz XII - The Totally Football Show
The Adjudication Panel: "Some bloke sat in a booth near the M4 with a fancy protractor"
The Adjudication Panel: "What a horse he was, by the way"
Sizeable hillocks & nightclubbing with McCoist: Jon Champion does Mesut Haaland Dicks
The Adjudication Panel: James Ward-Prowse Territories & hasty Panenkas
The Adjudication Panel: Elland Road trigonometry & the Footballers Called Pete crisis
The Adjudication Panel: We've said 'come and listen to this podcast' and you've said 'thank you very much, I will’
The Football Cliches Quiz #11
The Adjudication Panel: Among the assists, prime players & the tormentor-in-chief scale
Centre-backs leading the line, overlapping kick-off time angst, and long-range near post goal aesthetics
The Adjudication Panel: Pivotal wins, corners in a dangerous position, and the Factory of Sadness
The Adjudication Panel: Agemates, locksmiths & Alan Curbishley's garden
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