Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' March entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.
Among the selections are the quiet honour of spotting how much added time there will be before the fourth official holds the board aloft, the curious lack of a genuine market leader for shin pads, the aesthetics of long-range efforts going in at the near post and the anxiety of trying to choose which game to follow during the overlapping Premier League games on Amazon Prime.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel wonder if you can use "leading the line" for a centre-back and enjoy an egregious example of footballspeak on American TV.
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Capos, club mentalities & calculating England's actual years of hurt: The listeners' loves & hates
The Adjudication Panel: Mourinho in Turkey, 71 billion calories & a football club every 2.24 seconds
Clicheship Years: 2023/24
The Adjudication Panel: Double swoops, double saves & Down Under with Eddie Howe
The Football Clichés Quiz XIII: Cliches vs Dial F for Football
The Adjudication Panel: Pep's ice cream van, popping up with a goal & an "absolute football club”
Hi-tech hoardings & tactically illiterate World XIs: The listeners' loves & hates
The Adjudication Panel: "Why can't they go on and win it?"
The Adjudication Panel: Mid-2000s Premier League antiques & how the square goalpost met its end
The Adjudication Panel: Four-star Haaland & the most elaborate football analogy in modern politics
Gary Lineker meets Cliches: Why aren't strikers rounding the goalkeeper any more?
The Adjudication Panel: Winning the "hard way" and the Missing Piece of the Jigsaw XI
The Football Cliches Quiz XII - The Totally Football Show
The Adjudication Panel: "Some bloke sat in a booth near the M4 with a fancy protractor"
All-English European ties & post-goal iPad analysis: The listeners' loves & hates
The Adjudication Panel: "What a horse he was, by the way"
Sizeable hillocks & nightclubbing with McCoist: Jon Champion does Mesut Haaland Dicks
The Adjudication Panel: James Ward-Prowse Territories & hasty Panenkas
The Adjudication Panel: Elland Road trigonometry & the Footballers Called Pete crisis
The Adjudication Panel: We've said 'come and listen to this podcast' and you've said 'thank you very much, I will’
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