Turning 40 and discovering why a lifetime of ‘normal’ felt so hard

A career pivot in his early 40s forced Nathan Karol to confront something he had not thought about since childhood: how his brain actually works. What followed was not a crisis, but a reorientation. Through therapy, testing accommodations, and a willingness to rebuild his systems from the inside out, Nathan found relief, momentum, and a version of success that fits him. This conversation explores late-diagnosed ADHD, identity, ambition, and the freedom that comes from finally working with your wiring instead of against it.

Guest Bio

Nathan Karol has played many roles in the world both personal and professional. Most notably he is a husband, father, Jew by choice, mental health advocate and mediocre golfer. He's spent his life figuring out what he wants to do when he "grows up," having been mentored and influenced by some amazing human beings. The years around forty have been full of change, reflection, awareness and hard work both professionally and personally.

Turning 40 and discovering why a lifetime of ‘normal’ felt so hard

Nathan Karol’s midlife transition did not arrive with fireworks or a dramatic breakdown. It arrived through pressure, persistence, and a growing realization that the way he had been moving through the world no longer fit his life or, more importantly, how his brain worked. In his early 40s, while pivoting into a new career in financial services, Nathan was forced to confront something he had not thought about since childhood: ADHD. What followed was a reckoning. Through therapy, testing accommodations, and a radical reframing of what success can look like, Nathan found clarity, self-trust, and a path that finally works with his wiring instead of against it.

In this episode, we talk about:

1. Growing up curious, hands-on, and constantly in motion, and how early experiences shape adult identity.
2. Losing connection to a childhood ADHD diagnosis and the quiet ways it continued to affect work, stress, and self-worth.
3. Why traditional career paths and rigid structures can be especially punishing for ADHD brains.
4. Hitting a wall in midlife when intense licensing exams forced Nathan to relearn how his brain actually works.
5. The power of therapy, diagnosis, and accommodations in adulthood, and why none of that is a failure.
6. Letting go of a solo business that no longer scaled, and stepping into a role that offers both structure and autonomy.
7. Redefining success as building systems that work for you, not forcing yourself into ones that do not.

Midlife clarity often comes from revisiting old truths with new eyes. Nathan didn’t start over from scratch. But he worked towards understanding himself enough to choose a path that fit. His transition demonstrates how self-awareness, support, and flexibility can turn long-standing friction into momentum, and how learning how your brain works can change everything about how you live and work.

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Guest Resources

Connect with Nathan on Instagram

Do you have the Midlife Ick?

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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The Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications