29. What’s Really Driving Conflict on Your Team (And Why Many Leaders Miss It)

2025-12-14

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You’ve been told that if conflict keeps happening on your team, the solution is better communication, clearer expectations, or another “hard conversation.”But when those things don’t work and the same conflict keeps disrupting the team, it’s usually because you’re trying to solve the wrong problem.In this episode, I reveal the four hidden drivers behind drama at work and explain why so many capable leaders miss them, especially in high-pressure environments like healthcare, where the stakes are high.I also share a real healthcare ...

You’ve been told that if conflict keeps happening on your team, the solution is better communication, clearer expectations, or another “hard conversation.”

But when those things don’t work and the same conflict keeps disrupting the team, it’s usually because you’re trying to solve the wrong problem.

In this episode, I reveal the four hidden drivers behind drama at work and explain why so many capable leaders miss them, especially in high-pressure environments like healthcare, where the stakes are high.

I also share a real healthcare leadership story that shows how years of unresolved conflict were resolved in just 90 minutes—not through disciplinary action or new policies, but through a trauma-informed approach that addressed what was really driving the drama.

So if you’re tired of revisiting the same issues, getting derailed by interpersonal conflict, or wondering why professionals can’t seem to resolve their own disagreements, hit play.

0:00 – Why conflict is natural (and why drama is optional)
3:10 – The Communication Iceberg: what leaders focus on—and what they miss
6:45 – The four drivers behind every conflict
10:20 – Why assumptions quietly escalate tension on teams
15:05 – How unexpressed wants and unmet needs create resentment
18:40 – A real OR leadership story: resolving six years of conflict
27:10 – How to start addressing the real issue without making things worse

Resources mentioned

👉 The Drama-Free Communication Iceberg (free download)

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