Validation, Co-regulation, and Emotional Immaturity (with a Hint of Spirituality) w/Angela De Hoyos, ALC

What happens when your greatest strengths—your empathy, your willingness to self-reflect, your sensitivity—become the very tools someone uses to convince you everything is your fault? In this crossover episode with therapist Angela De Hoyos, ALC, Tony explores why validation feels like survival when you were raised in an emotionally unpredictable home. You learned that love could vanish without warning—so you became hypervigilant, endlessly working to secure a connection that was never yours to earn. Now you may find yourself starving for validation from the one person who can't hold it steadily.

You can learn more about Angela by visiting her website https://www.findingbalancecounseling.com/ and subscribe to her podcast “Finding Balance with Mental Health and Spirituality” here https://www.findingbalancecounseling.com/podcast

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

• Understand the origins of validation: why we learn we exist through others' responses—and how that wiring gets exploited
• Discover why "pathologically kind" people attract emotionally immature partners—and keep trying harder when it doesn't work
• Recognize the trap of "if it's my fault, I can fix it"—and why that belief keeps you chasing validation instead of building self-trust
• Learn the crucial difference between validation and agreement—you can acknowledge someone's experience without abandoning your own
• Build a 90% solid sense of self so you stop outsourcing your worth to people who use it against you

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview

01:25 Guest Introduction: Angela de Hoyos

03:16 The Magnetic Marriage Course Pitch

06:20 Understanding Validation and Emotional Immaturity

08:15 Therapeutic Insights and Parenting Dynamics

20:46 The Concept of Co-Regulation

28:40 Exploring the Concept of Existence and Value

29:05 The Story of Jill: Unpredictable Childhood

30:33 Understanding Validation and Recognition

33:50 The Role of Self-Validation

40:59 Spiritual Perspectives on Validation

51:25 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Get on the waitlist today for Tony's upcoming Magnetic Marriage live course! Head to https://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic

If you are interested in joining Tony's private Facebook group for women in narcissistic or emotionally immature relationships of any type, please reach out to him at contact@tonyoverbay.com or through the form on the website, HTTP://www.tonyoverbay.com

If you are a man interested in joining Tony's "Emotional Architects" group to learn how to better navigate your relationship with a narcissistic or emotionally immature partner or learn how to become more emotionally mature yourself, please reach out to Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com or through the form on the website, HTTP:www.tonyoverbay.com