As I say during the broadcast, I was having a hard time deciding whether I wanted to play ambient music or disco. So I played both. I have trouble with decisiveness, with finality.
To force a segue here, I am confident that someone like Morrissey would have hated this program, and that doesn't bother me in the slightest. This was the night after the day we Found Out (I guess?) about Morrissey through that horrible softball interview on his own website. Finally freed from wilful misinterpretation and journalistic malfeasance, he reveals that he...is Douglas Pearce, basically? Truly uncanny. Being an aesthete, I used to think Death in June was ripping off the Smiths' visuals; I didn't realize it was an exchange.
Hero worship will enable and force you to do some mental gymnastics, and to cling to mere possibilities. Saying that reggae is vile might have been a reference to its patriarchy and homophobia. It's possible that the chorus of "Panic" wasn't about lynching black people. There's a chance that "We'll Let You Know" and "National Front Disco" are not endorsements. [In my defense, this is more of a probability. But there I go. Or do I? I can't tell anymore.] And so on. But that's my problem all along. Post-1976 we are not supposed to have heroes, I guess, but I do. I've never "gotten it."
I could write a paragraph about when I got "woke," because part of me had to know, but who cares? I've been wrong.
Was he ever anything but "devious, truculent, and unreliable?" I would like to think that the person who wrote "Well I Wonder" and "I Know It's Over" was a great chronicler of loneliness. Even fascists get lonely! It didn't occur to me at the time that perhaps he was lonely because he'd preemptively ruled out the possibility of companionship with most of humanity. I'm still struggling with this reckoning. Those Smiths songs must have been the work of a different person. Right?! Sigh.
I would have been better off seeing Morrissey from the start as many of my friends did, as a Ridiculous Person. [And I did, sort of, but I just loved him anyway.] Or just being on Team Robert Smith, though I never quite understood that beef. But things didn't happen that way. As I've written elsewhere, the Smiths came along when I needed something to come along.
What to do now? I wonder if, after a few more similar interviews, Smiths records will become like Death in June records, a kind of eBay contraband. [I'm thinking also of Spotify's new policies regarding hateful speech and hateful behavior.] Probably not, I guess. But they are a kind of emotional contraband. Will I jettison mine? I told you I have trouble with decisiveness and finality.
BOMBAST playlist, 2018 April 18, 2100-2300:
notebooks out plagiarists
https://www.facebook.com/radiobombast?ref=hl
https://twitter.com/KidCatharsis
Outright Denial of the Dying and the Sane: Transmission 528, 2020 May 27
Sorry If I Give You PTSD: Transmission 527, 2020 May 20
Just Admit You Don’t Know What To Do: Transmission 526, 2020 May 13
Deep off into Mother Universe: Transmission 525, 2020 May 6
Hello Refusal, You’re Just the Same as Usual: Transmission 524, 2020 April 29
I Got One Doctor That I Talk to Every Week About This Panic: Transmission 523, 2020 April 22
But What Do You Expect Me To Do? Transmission 522, 2020 April 15
Let the Sirens Sing Out Their Nightmare: Transmission 521, 2020 April 8
Can You Pretend To Love Chaos? Transmission 520, 2020 April 1
My Revenge Against the World Is To Believe Everything You Say: Transmission 519, 2020 March 25
Everything's Coming to a Grinding Halt: Transmission 518, 2020 March 18
You Try To Give Me Your Money, You Better Save It: Transmission 517, 2020 March 11
No Sex or Records for a Year and a Day: Transmission 516, 2020 March 5
It's the Beginning of the End: Transmission 515, 2020 March 4
Pay Your Respects to the Vultures, For They Are Your Future: Transmission 514, 2020 February 27
Call Me Your Nightmare, Call Me Your Dream: Transmission 513, 2020 February 26
All Surroundings Are Evolving: Transmission 512, February 19
Overstand the Futility of My Antics: Transmission 511, 2020 February 12
When Two Energies Collide, Wow, Magnificent: Transmission 510, 2020 February 5
They Will Sell You Back Your Heart: Transmission 509, 2020 February 1
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