Legend is a bizarre fantasy fever dream—one rife with an excess of pollen, bubbles, and glitter. These things are literally everywhere, folks. They flood the beautiful scenery and are unrelenting.
Also unrelenting is the film's glaring lack of plot. If you kill the unicorns, the world will be cloaked in darkness. That's the movie. Jack o' the Green, Tom Cruise, must atone for his mistake of introducing his crush Lili, Mia Sara, to the wonderous creatures by killing the Lord of Darkness, Tim Curry, and taking back the severed alicorn.
It's pretty to look at, wildly dumb, and almost entirely remembered for Curry's dazzling turn as the Lord of Darkness. His performance, as well as the make up, are perfection.
Directed by Ridley Scott—who'd just rocked the cinematic world with Blade Runner and Alien—Legend just never lives up to its potential. In 1985, critics and audiences agreed. It boasts a paltry 38% on Rotten Tomatoes with 40 reviews; and it grossed just $23.5 million on a budget of $24.5 million.
Technically—and again, solely because of Curry—it is sort of a cult classic, though.
So sit back, stab a hole in a Narwhal Imperial Stout from Sierra Nevada with an alicorn, and don't give in to Darkness' temptations! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, Mayor McCheese, and a special guest are besting all of Gump's riddles!
This Week’s Segments:
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Alita: Battle Angel – Panzer Kunst!
GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra – Send it to the Slaughter House
The Last Airbender – Burn the Footage
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom – Tangbro and Splash
Madame Web – Ms. Spider-Cleo
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania – Shrinking Returns
The Flash – A Hop, Skip, and a Tomato Can
Blue Beetle – Batman's a Fascist
Half Past Dead – Sentenced to Death Row
Expend4bles – Time to Retire
Killing Gunther – Earthquake Love
Hollywood Homicide – Stella!
The Great Christmas Movie Debate – Die Hard vs Lethal Weapon
Just Friends – Simply Hopsy
Palm Springs – Life on Repeat
So I Married an Axe Murderer – Head, Pod Now!
Summer Catch – Strike’s Out Looking
Werewolves Within – Guess Wholf?
Renfield – Wiccan Tumblr for the Win
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