Uwe Boll is infamous for his poor video game adaptations. To date, he has made over 10 of them—including BloodRayne and its sequels, as well as House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark. Postal is his magnum opus. It's a giant middle finger to the critics who've lambasted his work throughout his career, and it pulls zero punches.
From an opening that pokes fun at 9/11 to Verne Troyer meeting his maker via chimpanzee defilement, it is as tasteless a film as you'll ever encounter.
That is clearly by design. Postal, the game for which the movie is based, is primarily known for its unfettered violence—think Grand Theft Auto without a coherent narrative to buoy its less seemly mechanics. It may have a cult following, but it was not what most would consider popular.
It should as come as no surprise then that the movie flopped. It, like the game, was hindered by its wanton nihilism. Released on only four screens in the U.S., Postal grossed just $146,741. It also sits at a measly 9% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Though it's not devoid of salient ideas—the dangers of religious fanaticism, for example—the execution never lands. And the movie pinballs from one abhorrent joke to another, failing to ever stop to consider how awful everything it's presenting actually is. Despite that, its failure did little to prevent Boll from continuing to direct movies—an oddity of the industry that will never not be baffling.
Listen, you can watch this, but just remember: We did warn you not to. So sit back, blast open a Steel Reserve from Steel Brewing Co., and stay the hell away from Little Germany! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are smuggling a crate of Krotchy Dolls into the U.S. to prevent a country-wide pandemic!
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Sahara – Tequila Jones
Speed Racer – Go, Speed, Go!
Alita: Battle Angel – Panzer Kunst!
GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra – Send it to the Slaughter House
The Last Airbender – Burn the Footage
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom – Tangbro and Splash
Madame Web – Ms. Spider-Cleo
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania – Shrinking Returns
The Flash – A Hop, Skip, and a Tomato Can
Blue Beetle – Batman's a Fascist
Half Past Dead – Sentenced to Death Row
Expend4bles – Time to Retire
Killing Gunther – Earthquake Love
Hollywood Homicide – Stella!
The Great Christmas Movie Debate – Die Hard vs Lethal Weapon
Just Friends – Simply Hopsy
Palm Springs – Life on Repeat
So I Married an Axe Murderer – Head, Pod Now!
Summer Catch – Strike’s Out Looking
Werewolves Within – Guess Wholf?
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