Stone Cold is a perfect piece of 90s cinema. It's hyper-masculine, nonsensical schlock; and it is glorious.
Starring Brian Bosworth—a stud linebacker from Oklahoma University whose injuries derailed his NFL career—Stone Cold chronicles one man's struggle to bring a gang of degenerate bikers to justice. Yes, it is as awesome as it sounds. And it's just entertaining enough that one wonders why Bosworth didn't become more of a thing.
After all, the 80s and 90s were littered with sub-par action films and actors. He had the build, and though he wasn't exactly overflowing with charisma, he still oozed enough cool with his ridiculous haircut/earring combo to warrant better work than he got after this.
He also managed not to die of laughter when filming some of the lunacy this film entailed. Lance Henricksen, who chews every piece of scenery he's in as Chains, even adds a layer of legitimacy to the proceedings. Frankly, for this to only have grossed $9.1 million on a budget of $25 million is a crime. Its poor reviews are also nonsense.
Come on, people! How many movies do we get to see William Forsythe in a leather vest with no shirt underneath!?
Now sit back, do some target practice with an Icehouse, and burn some rubber! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are going deep undercover to bring down a group of badass bikers and slang some P2P!
This Week’s Segments:
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You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!
Speed Racer – Go, Speed, Go!
Alita: Battle Angel – Panzer Kunst!
GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra – Send it to the Slaughter House
The Last Airbender – Burn the Footage
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom – Tangbro and Splash
Madame Web – Ms. Spider-Cleo
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania – Shrinking Returns
The Flash – A Hop, Skip, and a Tomato Can
Blue Beetle – Batman's a Fascist
Half Past Dead – Sentenced to Death Row
Expend4bles – Time to Retire
Killing Gunther – Earthquake Love
Hollywood Homicide – Stella!
The Great Christmas Movie Debate – Die Hard vs Lethal Weapon
Just Friends – Simply Hopsy
Palm Springs – Life on Repeat
So I Married an Axe Murderer – Head, Pod Now!
Summer Catch – Strike’s Out Looking
Werewolves Within – Guess Wholf?
Renfield – Wiccan Tumblr for the Win
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