Black Friday is like if someone took Dawn of the Dead, Army of Darkness, and The Mist, threw them all in a blender, but somehow removed any of the ingredients that made those films so memorable.
Biting social criticism? Well, it is there; it just doesn't work. Humor and over the top, practical gore? Both are in far too short supply. Dramatic tension? Sorry, there are no real scares to speak of.
This one, folks, is dead on arrival. And even if it is available for a mega sale, it's not worth the bargain.
Somehow, though, critics did not eviscerate it like one of the insatiable mutants would an unsuspecting stock boy. With 19 reviews, it sits at 63% on Rotten Tomatoes. The public, however, wasn't buying it. They can smell a cheap knockoff. They land at a 35%. Seems fair to me.
Now, sit back, crack open a Galactica West Coast IPA from Clown Shoes Beer, and stay out of the Christmas Village! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are strapping on some roller skates to escape a horde of unruly and parasite-ravaged shoppers!
This Week’s Segments:
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You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!
Speed Racer – Go, Speed, Go!
Alita: Battle Angel – Panzer Kunst!
GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra – Send it to the Slaughter House
The Last Airbender – Burn the Footage
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom – Tangbro and Splash
Madame Web – Ms. Spider-Cleo
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania – Shrinking Returns
The Flash – A Hop, Skip, and a Tomato Can
Blue Beetle – Batman's a Fascist
Half Past Dead – Sentenced to Death Row
Expend4bles – Time to Retire
Killing Gunther – Earthquake Love
Hollywood Homicide – Stella!
The Great Christmas Movie Debate – Die Hard vs Lethal Weapon
Just Friends – Simply Hopsy
Palm Springs – Life on Repeat
So I Married an Axe Murderer – Head, Pod Now!
Summer Catch – Strike’s Out Looking
Werewolves Within – Guess Wholf?
Renfield – Wiccan Tumblr for the Win
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