The Angry Therapist Podcast

10 Questions About Love

What happens when I know better but still find myself repeating the same relationship patterns? I answer 10 questions about love, attachment, obsession, loneliness, breakups, abuse, reconciliation, and the difficult choices we make when relationships activate something deeper inside us. I talk about why we can confuse familiarity with safety, why we sometimes become addicted to what another person does to our nervous system, and how to tell the difference between attachment anxiety and intuition. I also explore why some relationships are worth experiencing even if they aren't meant to last, and why being lonely inside a relationship can make attention from an ex feel so powerful. In this episode: • Why repetition compulsion can make us recreate emotional dynamics that hurt us • How familiar can become confused with safe • Why obsession with another person can actually be a form of emotional regulation • How to distinguish attachment anxiety from intuition • How to tell whether you're fighting for a relationship or fighting against grieving it • Why not every meaningful relationship has to become a lifelong one • Why I don't believe there is necessarily one person who is the one • What loneliness inside a relationship can reveal about what you're actually missing • Why leaving an abusive relationship can be much more complicated than simply knowing you should leave • When friendship with an ex is actually just another way of holding on • Why long-term relationships can become disconnected and what it can look like to find each other again 🎙️ Connect with me: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on my SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you in love or attached to the fantasy?

What is the difference between loving someone and becoming obsessed with them? In this episode, I explore how love can slowly turn into fixation, fantasy, and emotional dependency, and why so many of us confuse chemistry with compatibility. Recording from a hotel room, I reflect on my own experiences with emotional intensity, attachment patterns, love addiction, fantasy, and obsession, as well as the challenge of building a life that doesn’t revolve around one person. In this episode, I talk about: Why obsession is often about identity, not the other person The difference between chemistry and compatibility How fantasy creates emotional intensity Why intermittent reinforcement is so addictive The connection between obsession, attachment wounds, and love addiction How emotional intensity and expanding your life can change your perspective on relationships Why I believe a healthy relationship requires a life that is bigger than the relationship itself What it means to choose yourself without becoming emotionally isolated 🎙️ Connect with me: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on my SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The house you grew up in still lives inside you

The house I grew up in is probably still living inside me. And the house you grew up in may still be living inside you, too. I’m recording from a diner in Mexico City and exploring one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves: What was the emotional climate of the home I grew up in? This conversation goes far beyond nostalgia or childhood memories. I explore how the emotional atmosphere we grew up in - whether it was chaotic, unpredictable, emotionally distant, performance-driven, or conflict-avoidant - can continue shaping our relationships, attachment patterns, self-worth, and nervous system responses decades later. Drawing from my own experiences and years of therapeutic work, I break down four types of emotionally immature parents and how growing up around these dynamics can wire us to become caretakers, perfectionists, conflict avoiders, or people who feel guilty for having needs at all. This isn’t about blaming our parents. It’s about understanding how those early experiences taught us to relate to ourselves. Because real adulthood begins when we learn how to become the safest place we’ve ever lived. In this episode: • Why the emotional climate of your childhood matters more than the physical house • The signs of an emotionally ruled parent • How hypervigilance can get mistaken for empathy • Why driven parents can unintentionally tie love to achievement • What passive parents can teach us about conflict and boundaries • How rejecting parents can create adults who apologize for existing • Why we often choose familiarity in relationships, not randomness • The connection between childhood emotional neglect and adult anxious attachment • What reparenting actually looks like in everyday life • The question I want you to ask yourself about the emotional climate you may still be carrying today 🎙️ Connect with me: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on my SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Therapy Thursdays | How to know what’s actually healthy for you

In this Therapy Thursdays episode, I’m answering the relationship and personal-growth questions we often think about but don’t always know how to ask. What does an emotionally safe relationship actually feel like? How do you know if you’re settling - or simply navigating the normal challenges of being with someone? When does a relationship push you toward growth, and when does it start pulling you away from yourself? I also get into how living in survival mode can shape the way we move through adulthood, why happiness can’t always be postponed until life finally looks the way we want it to, and what it means to build a life that feels more expansive than constricting. Healthy doesn’t mean easy. But the challenges in your life and relationships should ultimately help you become someone you recognize—and someone you actually like. 🎙️ Connect with me: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on my SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Enough Is Finally Enough: What It Means to Live a Meaningful Life with Buddy Wakefield

When is enough enough? What if the life you're chasing is based on someone else's definition of success? In this conversation, John Kim and Buddy Wakefield explore the difference between going wide and going deep, and why fulfillment may have less to do with fame, money, and recognition than we think. From poetry, Portugal, and Los Angeles to money, hope, and the pressure to constantly achieve more, this episode is a raw and honest reflection on potential, ambition, and what actually makes a life feel meaningful. In this episode, John and Buddy talk about: Whether potential really has to "go wide" How growing up in Los Angeles shaped John's definition of success Why Buddy's experience in Portugal changed the way he thinks about enough The difference between external recognition and meaningful impact What money can and cannot provide How hustle culture can keep you disconnected from the present moment Why Buddy is learning to welcome the word hope back into his life The small, ordinary moments that bring real happiness If this episode resonated with you, follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share it with someone who has been measuring their worth by how wide they've gone instead of how deeply they've lived. Connect with Buddy: https://www.buddywakefield.com/ https://www.instagram.com/buddywakefield 🎙️ Connect with John: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on my SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices