This House Was Never Meant To Be A Podcast

Ep 29 Halloween Candy

Old and surly curmudgeon Mr. Killup is home alone on his most hated night of the year, Halloween. His job is simple: hand out candy to trick or treaters while his caretaker son Michael works the night shift, but even this proves to be too much for this Halloween-hater and takes his disdain out on the kids. Little does he know, his treatment of the trick-or-treaters gets the attention of something mysterious, and it's not happy at all with his unfestive attitude.   Join Velina and Zach on one of the most Halloween-flavored episodes of the series and one of the most quintessential “Tales of the Darkside” episodes in the series. So grab a bucket of Goblin-Candy, because this episode proves why tricks come first when trick-or-treating.Host = Zach ZachariaryHost = Velina VelenghiskhanIntro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat AudioEnding clip: Summerween Gravity FallsContact us: ThisHousePodcast@gmail.com

Ep 28 Parlour Floor Front

Fiancees Linda and Doug just acquired a massive 4-story home and are knee-deep in renovations, there’s just one glaring problem: The tenant, a benevolent voodoo witch doctor Mars Gillis, refuses to leave his home on the Parlor Floor Front, and renter’s laws prevent them from booting him out. Will the couple be able to illegally evict the paying tenant and claim the whole home for themselves or will there be a much higher cost to their actions than they first thought?Join Velina and Zach in an episode so unexpectedly good, they question why they ever forgot it as they dive into the subject of gentrification and the real people it harms. So grab your gold jewelry and a suitcase full of underwear, cause rent’s due and the spirits don’t take cash.Host = Zach ZachariaryHost = Velina VelenghiskhanIntro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat AudioEnding clip: Princess and the FrogContact us: ThisHousePodcast@gmail.com

Ep 27 Ring Around The Redhead

Death row inmate Billy Malone is nearing the end of his wait for his turn on the electric chair, recounting to the reporter the events that led him to his current predicament. It all started with an earthquake that caused a volcano to appear in his basement and a metal ring inside it that had the power to lead to different worlds, when ultimately it spits out a """Ditzy""" woman who can’t communicate with him. Will this creep get the child in a woman’s body and find his freedom when all hope seems lost, or will he take a spin on the ultimate time-out chair?Join Velina and Zach on one of our most hated episodes of the series as we dive into not only the episode’s god-awful attempt at the noir genre, but also its usage of one of the most deplorable tropes that we are unfortunate enough to know about: Born Sexy Yesterday as our minds unravel trying to piece the plot together since the writers didn't care to. So grab your final meal and say a prayer, because this episode makes us wish we were the ones fried on the chair.Host = Zach ZachariaryHost = Velina VelenghiskhanIntro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat AudioEnding clip: FBI Open Up! clipContact us: ThisHousePodcast@gmail.com

Ep 26 Lifebomb

Filthy rich CEO Ben Martin has a bit of a problem: his near constant anger and stress is killing him, but that’s a problem a mysterious salesman comes to fix. A miraculous medical device, the Lifebomb, is designed to keep its wearer alive, no matter how severe of a medical emergency they have. Will Mr. Martin be able to delay the inevitable, denying death its claim over him, or perhaps there is a worse fate than death?Join Velina and Zach as they dive into the vile Darkside of real life: medical insurance! Delight in the poignant and sadly still topical subject matter that this episode digs into. So grab some antacids and a glass of milk (or Mylanta?), getting a life assurance policy has never been easier!Host = Zach ZachariaryHost = Velina VelenghiskhanIntro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat AudioEnding clip: Dr. Bertruger There is no death for you-Doom 3Contact us: ThisHousePodcast@gmail.com

Ep 25 The Impressionist

 Local Impressionist Spiffy Remo runs a comedy(?) routine impersonating celebrities so well, it gets the attention of less-than-savory government figures who need him for a once-in-a-lifetime arrangement. The Mission? Communicate with a captive alien and get it to reveal the secrets to nuclear fusion, but time is ticking away as the atmosphere is slowly killing the otherworldly visitor. Will the mystery of limitless power die with the alien, or will Spiffy Remo pull off his most challenging impression yet?Join Velina and Zach for what can only be described as the Tales from the Darkside episode of all time. So take a seat behind the one-way mirror, this one is certainly A way to kick off Season 2 of the show...Host = Zach ZachariaryHost = Velina VelenghiskhanIntro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat AudioEnding clip: Independence Day (1996)Contact us: ThisHousePodcast@gmail.com