Real Confidence

EP 125: Real Confidence- You Don’t Need to Be Positive to Be Confident

Let’s talk about positivity—because if I hear one more person confuse it with denial, I might flip a table. I’m not talking about the smiley, everything’s-fine, toxic kind that makes you want to roll your eyes in a waiting room. I’m talking about the real version. The kind that exists even when life is messy, inconvenient, and objectively annoying. The kind that doesn’t require you to gaslight yourself into pretending everything is great when it clearly isn’t. What got me thinking about this is how often positivity gets framed as naïve or fake, especially if you’re smart, skeptical or allergic to fluff (like I am!). Somewhere along the way, being realistic became synonymous with being negative. And honestly? That’s not confidence. That’s just living on edge. I started wondering what it would look like to flip that default—assuming things are mostly okay unless proven otherwise, instead of waking up every day braced for impact. This episode digs into the difference between performative positivity and the kind that actually supports confidence. The internal kind. The kind that changes how you interpret setbacks, how much stress you carry around and how much energy you waste on stuff that doesn’t deserve it. Not because you’re ignoring reality—but because you’re choosing how much power it gets to have over you. If you’re tired, cynical or just done with self-help nonsense and want a version of positivity that actually makes you steadier, calmer and more confident (without turning you into that person), hit play. This one might surprise you.

EP 124: Real Confidence- Living Confidently With Anxiety

You know that tightness in your chest, the racing thoughts, the moments where you freeze because something tiny feels huge? Hello, anxiety. We all experience it one form or at one time or another and some of us live with a constant low-grade hum of it in the background. So I wanted to find out how, exactly, we can be anxious AND still move through life confidently. Still make decisions, show up with presence, speak our truth and hold ground when our brains are freaking out. To help me on that quest, I invited Danita Young, a transformational coach who’s spent years helping people untangle the knots anxiety ties around their lives, to join me on the podcast. I wanted to go deeper than symptoms and triggers and she was more than happy to get into how to keep our heads and hearts in the game when anxiety is closing in. Danita didn’t promise a life free from tension or racing thought but she explained how to show up anyway, fully and confidently, and that, my friends, is a game changer. One of the most eye-opening things for me was how much our bodies register anxiety long before our minds recognize it. Anxiety impacts our physical posture, breathing and even how we listen or respond in conversations. And while it can feel like anxiety is the boss of us, there really are concrete ways to root into your confidence best without pushing anxiety aside or trying to crush it. By the end of our conversation, I had a toolkit, not an empty promise of magic pill we’re so often fed by the algorithms. If you’ve ever felt paralyzed by anxiety or like it was shaping every move you made, make some time to tune in and really listen. Takeaways from this episode include: Anxiety isn’t failure—it’s your survival brain running overtime. Most of what keeps us stuck is learned, not innate. Confidence doesn’t require erasing anxiety; it’s learning to move with it. Being aware of your emotional baseline (“your frequency”) helps you make conscious choices which are key to confidence. Surface fixes like distraction or medication can help, but they won’t free you from the root cause Danita Young, Neuroscience Coach, CBT and NLP brings together neuroscience, nervous system regulation, physics and her own and Align™ tracking to help individuals overcome anxiety at the root. To learn more about Danita, connect with her on Instagram @danitayoung.

EP 123: Real Confidence- There’s a Voice in Your Head and it’s Stealing Your Confidence

I have one. You have one. And sometimes it’s been there so long you barely notice until one day, one decision or one change shows you just how much it’s been influencing your confidence all along. For me, it was fat noise. A constant din of “You’re too big. People are judging you. You can’t do this.” And it showed up everywhere: trying on clothes, climbing stairs, getting on planes, even in photos I’d snap for work. It wasn’t just about how I looked; it was about how I felt in the world, how I carried myself, and how I made decisions. Even though I told myself over and over that “body shape doesn’t matter,” the truth is it did—just not in a way I understood until I lost 40 pounds. Of course my body changed, but unexpectedly, so did my mental landscape. Suddenly, I could see how much of my life had been shaped by guilt, shame, and self-blame. Fat noise had been controlling me for decades, whispering that I lacked self-control and that every ache or limitation was my fault. My fat noise could be your imposter syndrome, achievement anxiety or health worries. But whatever is it is, the lesson is the same and I’ll school you in it in this episode. So hit play and let me be the voice in your ear that cuts through the noise and puts you back in control of your confidence.

EP 122: Real Confidence- Confidence Starts Where the Crisis Begins

You know that moment when life drops something heavy in your lap and your brain does that “oh hell no” spiral? The call you didn’t expect, the crisis you never planned for, the “oh my god, what do I even do next” moment? In this episode, I sit down with my friend and total powerhouse Debra Woog, and we get brutally honest about what confidence looks like when everything is falling apart — not the Instagram version, the real-life, messy, human version. Debra talks about the crisis that knocked her flat, the one that forced her to rebuild confidence from the ground up. And hearing her walk through it — calmly, clearly, and with that signature Debra groundedness — felt like someone turning on a light in a room I didn’t realize had gone dim. She doesn’t sugarcoat anything, and that’s what makes it so damn comforting. We also get into that weird, almost guilty feeling of being “the strong one” even when you don’t feel strong. Debra lays out how she learned to ask for help (like, actually ask) and how that became the turning point for getting her confidence back. I swear, I felt this in my bones. This conversation is the reminder every single one of us needs: confidence isn’t about being unshakeable. It's about remembering who you are while you're being shaken. Debra shows us exactly how to do that and with so much grace it’ll make you exhale in relief. Highlights from our conversation: Why confidence during a crisis never looks the way we expect ( and why that’s actually a good thing) How to keep showing up for your life even when your energy, identity or sense of control feels wobbly Why asking for help is actually one of the strongest confidence moves you can make (and how Debra learned to do it) How to remind yourself who you are and what you can handle when life hits hard The simple daily practice Debra used to stop spiraling and start stabilizing Connect2 Corporation founder and Principal Crisis Navigation Partner® Debra A. Woog (pronounced “Vogue”) has 30+ years of experience as a leadership researcher, executive, and advisor. Debra empowers highly competent women facing challenging circumstances with the expertise, empathy, and structure to connect with the right resources, communicate effectively, and lead with a clear mind and a solid strategy. Learn more about Debra at connectwo.com.

EP 121: Real Confidence- The Confidence Hiding in Your Everyday Life

You know those days when you look around and suddenly realize, “Wait… I earned all this”? That’s the vibe of this episode. I’m sitting here, sipping something strong, telling you the truth we forget way too often: the confidence we’re walking around with didn’t fall from the sky. All those skills, talents, relationships, even the weird little wins? We built them. And when you start seeing your life through that lens… oh, everything shifts. Opportunities don’t just magically appear — you finally notice them. What really struck me as I recorded this is how easy it is to sleepwalk through our own success. We miss the good stuff, the right people, the “doors” we were absolutely meant to walk through, simply because we’re rushing or doubting or distracted. But when you get intentional about it, suddenly people become more interesting, and you become more interesting right back. It's wild how quickly that builds confidence on both sides. I also tell you about this little end-of-day ritual I swear by: finding the small wins. Not gratitude — that’s great, but it can feel like everything just happened to you. This is different. This is claiming the moments where you actually moved something forward. And yes, sometimes that “small win” is someone making your day. Other times, it’s you making theirs. A text. A compliment. A pot of soup. A connection email. A tiny spark of humanity that lands exactly right for someone. That’s where your superpower lives — in how you lift someone else up. The deeper stuff counts the most: thanking the role models you never properly acknowledged, circling back to the friend who showed up when you didn’t even ask, telling the people in your life that they mattered in ways they might not even realize. Identifying these isn’t a to-do and there’s no pressure. It’s just the simplest daily boost you can give yourself and the world. If you’ve been feeling stuck or doubting whether you’re really “doing enough,” this episode is your permission slip to look again — really look — at what you’ve earned, what you’ve created and the confidence you can give away just by showing up with a little more intention. Pour your favorite drink, take a breath, and join me for this one. It hits exactly where it needs to.