Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

The 'Broke' Narcissist Tactic: They Spend Your Money While Claiming to Have None

They said they were managing the finances — because you weren't good with money.That every purchase had to go through them. But somehow, there was always money for what they wanted.They made you feel like a child asking for an allowance — in your own home. And the moment you tried to leave, you realized you had nothing. Because they had made sure of it. That wasn't financial stress. That was financial control.This Thursday episode, Dr. Kerry reads from real accounts from people who lived inside financially controlling relationships. Learn what the 'broke' narcissist tactic looks like from the inside.In this episode:Why narcissists use money as a tool of surveillance and controlThe 'broke' performance: how narcissists claim poverty while draining your resourcesHow financial abuse creates a dependency trap designed to make leaving feel impossibleWhy survivors so often exit these relationships starting over — in debt, isolated, and exhaustedWhat financial recovery really requiresSubmit your question to be answered on air here!ResourcesThe Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry!YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How Narcissists Use Love Bombing to Build a Financial Trap

He checked the grocery receipt. And the look on his face said everything: he expected to catch you at something. You weren't a partner. You were a suspected thief. But that moment — that first time money became a surveillance tool — didn't come out of nowhere. It didn't start with the receipts, or the interrogations, or the separate account he opened without telling you. It started the moment he made you feel like the luckiest person alive. Because that feeling — of being chosen, adored, and completely seen — was the setup for everything that came after. This week, Dr. Kerry McAvoy sits down with clinical co-host and  UK psychologist Lynn S. to break down exactly how narcissists use love bombing to lay the groundwork for financial control —  and why so many survivors don't recognize the trap until they're already inside it. In this episode: Why money is never just money in a narcissistic relationship The "eating off my plate" impulse: the primitive threat response that drives financial control How love bombing creates the emotional dependency that makes financial control feel normal — even deserved The "empty jar" framework: why giving second chances too early is one of the most dangerous mistakes in new relationships. Want to go deeper? For the Podcast Extra interview: Paid Substack subscribers get exclusive access to Kerry and Lynn's full conversation on "sitting in the grey" — the psychological skill narcissists systematically destroy, and why rebuilding your capacity to trust your own inner compass requires something most survivors never think to look for.🔒 Become a paid subscriber and unlock your access today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.  WebsiteSubmit your question to be answered on air here!EMPOWERED Voices: Recovery to ResiliencyA heartfelt podcast series that brings to light the challenges and triumphs of...Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifyResourcesThe Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry!YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Narcissistic Parents Don't Love Their Children — They Use Them

They said they were managing the finances — because you weren't good with money. That every purchase had to go through them. But somehow, there was always money for what they wanted. They made you feel like a child asking for an allowance — in your own home. And the moment you tried to leave, you realized you had nothing. Because they had made sure of it. That wasn't financial stress. That was financial control. This Thursday episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy reads from your stories — real accounts from people who lived inside financially controlling relationships — to break down what financial abuse actually is and what the 'broke' narcissist tactic looks like from the inside. In this episode: Why narcissists use money as a tool of surveillance and control The 'broke' performance: how narcissists claim poverty while draining your resources How financial abuse creates a dependency trap designed to make leaving feel impossible Why survivors so often exit these relationships having to start over in debt, isolated, and exhausted What financial recovery really requiresKey Moments:00:00 — Caught in the middle: the child who can't take sides02:05 — "My worst enemy, but also my best friend": love with conditions03:39 — When the sensitive child becomes the target05:07 — The gaze that builds a self — and the one that breaks it06:36 — "I never said that": memory gaslighting and siblings who stop speaking08:55 — Protecting your kids: hypervigilance, loyalty binds, and staying regulatedSubmit your question to be answered on air here!ResourcesThe Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry!YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When Your Narcissistic Ex Weaponizes Your Children in Their Smear Campaign

Your child comes home from a visit with the other parent guarded. Repeating things they couldn't have come up with on their own. Now they’re looking at you differently. That's not just "divorce being hard." That's a smear campaign — and your narcissistic ex has recruited your own children to run it. This week, Dr. Josh Davis — neuroscientist, psychologist, and author of The Difference That Makes a Difference — joins Dr. Kerry McAvoy to break down exactly how narcissistic exes weaponize children in their smear campaigns, and what you can do to protect your relationship with your kids without playing the narcissist's game. In this episode:  Why narcissistic exes target children in their smear campaigns and what they're really trying to accomplish  The 3 signs your child is being used as a messenger or weapon against you  How to respond when your child repeats the narcissist's narrative The one mistake most co-parents make that actually deepens the alienation Exclusive Podcast Extra SegmentWant to go deeper? Paid Substack subscribers get exclusive access to Dr. Davis's most powerful technique — a simple mental shift that lets you step outside the chaos of a difficult co-parenting moment, see it clearly, and stop reacting 🔒 Become a paid subscriber and unlock your access today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse DR. JOSH DAVIS is a neuroscientist, psychologist, and author of The Difference That Makes a Difference. His work helps parents build stronger connections with their children using tools from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and neuroscience.WebsiteBook: The Difference That Makes the Difference: NLP and the Science of Positive ChangeSubmit your question to be answered on air here!EMPOWERED Voices: Recovery to ResiliencyA heartfelt podcast series that brings to light the challenges and triumphs of...Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifyResourcesThe Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry!YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Feed Swap: Covert Narcissist Relationships — When You Can't Live the Lie Anymore with Renee Swanson

If you can name the patterns and see the behaviors, have you wondered why do you still feel so stuck?This week I'm sharing an episode from Renee Swanson of the Covert Narcissism Podcast — a feed swap I wanted to bring straight to this community. Renee unpacks what she calls "hitting the wall": the moment you can no longer live the lie in a covert narcissistic relationship, when you can't keep pretending that you're fine, that your family is fine, when it simply isn't.Renee Swanson, the host, walks through the two paths that lead there — the slow erosion that wears you down mentally, emotionally, and physically, and the sudden crack that changes everything in an instant — and what actually happens inside you when you reach that point: the numbness, the strange relief, the self-doubt. Then she gets practical about the conversation itself: what you're really trying to do when you name your reality out loud, the responses to expect (DARVO, minimizing, tears, an eerie calm), and how to stay grounded when it goes sideways.If any of this is your life right now, please be gentle with yourself as you listen — and reach out to a trusted person or a domestic-abuse resource if you need support. Find more of Renee's work and her coaching at covertnarcissism.com.Submit your question to be answered on air here!ResourcesThe Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry!YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).