Welcome to a new week where we are going to get rained on, steamed out and then end it spending four days singing, dancing and living the life at Lolla. Before we can get to that though, there are plenty of pressing matters to get to. For example, it seems that scientists have discovered how to keep women alive longer (as if we need that.) It seems that the more they bang in a week, the better chance they have of living longer. That's right, if a woman is having sex more than once a week, she...
Welcome to a new week where we are going to get rained on, steamed out and then end it spending four days singing, dancing and living the life at Lolla. Before we can get to that though, there are plenty of pressing matters to get to. For example, it seems that scientists have discovered how to keep women alive longer (as if we need that.) It seems that the more they bang in a week, the better chance they have of living longer. That's right, if a woman is having sex more than once a week, she is doing good by her heart health and will tend to live longer. It should be noted that this applies to women 20 - 60 so you know Angi, tick tock. For those who are having sex less than once a week, those poor women have a 70% increased chance of death. Maybe this explains why every time Angi cuts the power to the house to increase a chance of a fling, Jay the Straight always seems to have a headache. Piling onto the death risk increase is depression so if you're sad and no one is slinging booty in your direction, your chances of becoming dirt sausage is increased. Angi looked at it in even simpler terms by explaining that if you're not having sex you probably will be depressed so no wonder these women are keeling over. While Marris saw an accuracy in the "have more sex or die!" campaign, Angi couldn't help but be convinced that this study was done by men. Funny enough though, it turns out men who have sex more than once a week have an increased chance of death so I guess that throws her theory right out the window. All of this is of course ironic in that the reproduction of a species is based on this and it is telling women to get it more but than telling men to give it less. Angi did have a secondary solution which was for women to just jump on the "sisters are doing it with themselves" train and just go girl on girl. Marris was confused about how that exactly worked but relented when he thought he discovered a loophole. Men could simply watch from the sidelines (like it's some kind of sporting event) but Angi was not convinced. She explained that dudes would say sideline view but then wanna jump in. I guess the selling of tickets for the matinee showing of "Scissor Me Timbers" is off the table. Marris then came up with a secondary idea, how about two girls, one guy as everyone gets something beneficial here. This dude math was not doing it for Angi and she suggested that Marris spank it while contemplating this confusing study and leave the girls to their own devices (which works in both my intended way of explaining and a fun play on words.)
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