The EXTRAORDINARY Family Life Podcast
Kids & Family:Parenting
On Instagram, I saw a reel that stated "Myth: Sex is a need. Fact: Sex is a desire, not a need."
"All of us can live without sex; we cannot live without water, food, or belonging."
I had to disagree and responded: "It depends on how you define 'need'. For survival, no. For connection, bonding, and love -- yes, it's a need. Can you imagine if you're husband said, "You don't NEED me to talk to you. It's just a desire' and then went days, weeks, or months without talking because it's not a 'need'? You would feel pretty neglected. So if you want an extraordinary relationship then sex -- and talking -- are NEEDS.'
While the argument may be true that 'needs' are ONLY things that we can't live without -- water, food, belonging -- it's inaccurate when we're talking about the surviving -- not to mention the THRIVING -- of our marriage relationship.
Yes, people can live without sex. And talking. But an extraordinary marriage cannot.
Of course, there are extremes when sex in marriage is not an option (injury, postpartum, old age). But we're not talking about those rare instances. We're talking about marriages where couples CAN have sex but are NOT having it.
And I get it. As a woman who once *hoped* to find evidence that would convince my husband we never had to have sex again, I know how relieving it can be to believe that his need for sex is not real or is some how wrong or unrealistic.
But it's just not true. Men (and women) want and need intimacy, but for some (usually men) their deepest intimacy takes the form of sex. And that's OK! And when you learn to use both sex and communication together they create an eternal circle of connection between spouses.
Listen to this episode now so you can begin to see sex as an OPPORTUNITY for connection, not a burden or obligation. When you have this paradigm shift then everything changes. And you finally discover the key to building the relationship you've always wanted.
This topic is further expounded on with these episodes:
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
Let us help you in your growth journey.
#46 How To ACTUALLY Get What You REALLY Want
#45 What to do with the emotional pain—you all have some :)
#44 What will be your destiny? These things will determine it!
#43 Epic Life Lessons From Mongolia
#42 Why You Are Struggling and What You HAVE TO Do About It
#41 Declaring Your Personal Independence
#40 What are you building with your current focus, time and attention?
#39 Achievement Demands Sacrifice, But You’re Sacrificing The Wrong Stuff
#38 Mindset, Heartset & Skillset part 3
#37 Mindset, Heartset &Skillset part 2
#36 Mindset, Heartset, & Skillset part 1
#35 The Path to Personal Peak Potential part 5
#34 The Path to Personal Peak Potential part 4
#33 The Path to Personal Peak Potential part 3
#32 The Path to Personal Peak Potential, Part 2
#31 The Path to Personal Peak Potential, Part 1
#30 Refuse to live a Default Life
#29 This is what generosity REALLY looks like
#28 The Number 1 reason why so many good people are failing to succeed in life!
#27 How to Be Less Prejudiced and Racist And More Compassionate and Open-Minded
Create your
podcast in
minutes
It is Free
Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Focus on the Family with Jim Daly
Calm Parenting Podcast
Pride and Prejudice
A Tale of Two Cities
Good Inside with Dr. Becky
Raising Good Humans