In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra confronts a common roadblock to repair: shame. Often, in the wake of relational harm, feelings of shame secretly run the show, causing you to get combative and defensive or freeze, flee, or fawn in essential moments. Dr. Alexandra provides strategies for moving from shame into action—so that you can make yourself available for repair—and gives tangible tips for how to make a heartfelt and effective apology.
Relevant links:
Access this episode's companion worksheet here
Reimagining Love episode: "Why Can't I Get Over It?"
Dr. Alexandra's e-course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding after Betrayal or Deceit
Brené Brown's TED Talk: Listening to Shame
Building Self-Esteem: How Learning from Shame Helps Us to Grow by Joseph Burgo
Order Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Submit a Listener Question
Join Dr. Alexandra's five-day retreat with the Modern Elder Academy — Get 10% off with code 'GF10'
Navigating Life Transitions As a Couple: A Conversation With My Husband, Todd
I Love Them, But I'm Not In Love With Them (Re-release)
Inviting a Reluctant Partner into Relationship Work (Re-release)
Finding Your People: Navigating Friendships in Adulthood with Lane Moore
Should You Be Friends With Your Ex?
Strategies for a Thriving Long-Distance Relationship
Healing from Collective Trauma: Marking the Anniversary of the Highland Park Shooting with Audrey Grunst
Embracing the Bittersweet: The Beauty of Longing and Impermanence with Susan Cain
Breaking Patterns & Moving Forward: The Science of Stuck with Britt Frank
How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship: Tools for Progress & Peace with Alicia Muñoz
Cultivating Contemplation: How Wonder Helps us Heal with Cole Arthur Riley
Modern Family Values: How to Be the Parents We Want to Be in a Busy World with Dr Yael Schonbrun
Getting Real About Pleasure: Reclaiming Desire with Dr Laurie Mintz
How to Bring Relational Self-Awareness to a First Date
12 Strategies for Swiping with Relational Self-Awareness
Why You're Frustrated with Dating Apps
Finding Yourself Again: The Truth About Codependency with Melody Beattie
Identifying Patterns & Getting Curious: Dating Mindfully with Jordana Abraham & Dr. Naomi Bernstein
"I'm Thinking About Getting Back Together With My Ex." (Part Two)
"I'm Thinking About Getting Back Together With My Ex." (Part One)
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