For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast
Society & Culture:Relationships
Welcome to our first episode in our For the Love of Sex series! We’re excited to break open this topic and find ways to cultivate what sexual health means for each of us and lay down toxic perspectives surrounding sex in our lives. Today we’re talking about sexual shame and how that can show inside and outside the bedroom. Matthias Roberts is a psychotherapist, author and podcaster. He wrote a book on sexual shame called “Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms” and is committed to helping people find freedom feeling shame around sex.
Jen and Matthias discuss:
The ways shame can seep into our lives is surprising. Join Jen and Matthias as they unpack, with a compassionate lens, how to stay curious and work toward kicking the shame-filled parts of our sex life to the curb.
* * *
Thank you to our sponsors!
Chime | Sign up for your Chime Credit Builder Visa Credit Card today Chime.com/ForTheLove
Thistle Farms | Visit ThistleFarms.org and use promo code FortheLove to get 15% off your order
Jen Hatmaker & Friends Cruise | Book your spot now at JenHatmaker.com/cruise
Thought-Provoking Quotes
“Sexuality is also a really core part of who we are. How we experience or do not experience sexuality is identity construing, and it should be. It is part of who we are.” - Matthias Roberts
“We have our shame, we have our sexuality, and then we have our divine, or our beliefs around the divine, and what the divine commands of us or doesn't command of us around our sexuality. And when those things play together, we can get a pretty nasty mix really quickly.” - Matthias Roberts
“So many of us try to push shame aside. That's our default, "Push it aside. We're not going to pay attention to this. This hurts." Or we get shut down by it, but we never quite take the time, or a lot of people don't take the time to really listen and figure out what the shame is actually telling us. And I think that's a really, really important place to start, because if we don't know what we're working with, the particularities of the shame, then how do we actually work with it?” - Matthias Roberts
“I think there's something around queerness and the ways that queer sexual ethic or queer ways of thinking around sexuality can actually free everyone up.” - Matthias Roberts
“What would it mean for our bodies to be good as they are right now? Can we get curious about that? If we feel I have a bad body or that sense of inferiority, what does it mean that my body as it is, right now, in this moment, might actually be good and can bring me pleasure?” - Matthias Roberts
“Shame disconnects us. It disconnects us from our bodies, from our communities, from our partners. Sex connects us. It is ultimately a connecting force. So we can actually use our sexuality as a way to reconnect to our bodies, reconnect to our partners.” - Matthias Roberts
Guest’s Links
Matthias Roberts Website
Matthias’s Facebook
Matthias’s Instagram
Matthias’s Twitter
Resources Mentioned in This Episode
Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms
For The Love Podcast Episode with Jay Stringer on Purity Culture
For The Love Podcast Episode with Brene Brown on Vulnerability
Sex, God, & the Conservative Church
Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I
Normal Gossip Podcast
Holy Runaways: Rediscovering Faith After Being Burned by Religion
Connect with Jen!
Jen’s website
Jen’s Instagram
Jen’s Twitter
Jen’s Facebook
Jen’s YouTube
For the Love of Therapy: Jada Pinkett-Smith on Trauma, Grief, and the Power of Embracing Your Journey
For the Love of Therapy: Women and Emotions - No More Apologies: Dr. Anita Phillips
For the Love of Funny: It’s Funny Where Life Takes Us Sometimes: Anjelah Johnson-Reyes
For the Love of Funny: Laughing Toward The Light: Comedian Kevin James Thornton Finds Himself at 50
For the Love of Funny: Tom Papa Takes His Comedy Personally
Sheltered Kids Who Grew Up To Be Funny: Trey + Katie Kennedy and Jake Triplett
For the Love of Funny: Finding The Funny In Our Wins and Losses with R. Eric Thomas
Yelled at By A Clown: How Nate Bargatze Found His Funny
Redefining Community & Friendships When Faced With The Unexpected ft. Emma Nadler
The Hardest Part of Friendship; When It’s Time To Say Goodbye ft. Erin Falconer
Shannan Martin on Friendship: “It Starts with Hello”
What Is Your Friendship Attachment Style? Ft. Dr. Marisa Franco
The Friendships That Save Us: Maggie Smith
Finding Friends, Keeping Them and What To Do When You Break Up: Laura Tremaine
Demystifying Therapy with Lori Gottlieb
[BONUS] Gates Foundation: Season Wrap-Up with Melinda French Gates
Reimagining Our Relationships Toward Rebalancing The Domestic Workload with Eve Rodsky
Seeing and Loving Your Body (and Yourself) With No Shame: Jessamyn Stanley
Inside the Fight for Better Gun Safety with MomsRising’s Gloria Pan
The Black & White of Feminism with Rachel Cargle
Create your
podcast in
minutes
It is Free
The Modern West
We Can Do Hard Things
Unlocking Us with Brené Brown
Love Life with Matthew Hussey
Date Yourself Instead
Let’s Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari