JB:Today we welcome Paul Ross. Paul is an author, speaker, trainer, Maser Hypnotist, Master Practitioner of Neuro-linguistic Programming and amore!PR:I’m honored to be leading us on this journeyJB:How’d you get into sales?PR:I got into sales because I was a 29 year old virgin who couldn’t get a date. Couldn’t get a date ever!Had zero EQ(emotional intelligence) outside of facts, figures, graphs, charts. Challenging to communicate with people in a way that helps to communic...
JB:
Today we welcome Paul Ross. Paul is an author, speaker, trainer, Maser Hypnotist, Master Practitioner of Neuro-linguistic Programming and amore!
PR:
I’m honored to be leading us on this journey
JB:
How’d you get into sales?
PR:
I got into sales because I was a 29 year old virgin who couldn’t get a date. Couldn’t get a date ever!
Had zero EQ(emotional intelligence) outside of facts, figures, graphs, charts.
Challenging to communicate with people in a way that helps to communicate in sales context
To communicate with people that connects with their emotions can be really challenging.
Tried psychotherapy, read books, prayed and stumbled into a book about NLP Neuro Linguistic programming
10 pages in, stop, and you go WOW, I must learn more!
3-4 months to heal up my shame & bad mindset. Then applied the techniques and IT WORKED!
First GF age of 29, realized he could teach other guys
Became a dating coach and began teaching students to get huge results, I found a family, here’s a picture of my wife and kids...this stuff is working for SALES!
Getting a sale is like a date - outreach, prospecting, qualify, create rapport, presentational, trial close and handle objections
Dating is harder because there is a lot more PERSONAL Rejection
Being a hypnotist the unconscious/subconscious mind is the seat where decisions are actually made
JB:
So much to unpack from that and things like handling PERSONAL objections which is so profound in dating and can feel similar in sales
PR:
How I learned the power of not taking it personally;
Had a student who wanted to take him to a restaurant and watch him go pickup women. Didn’t want to do it, but then he offered $10K in cash.
The student goes beyond strike out and crashes and burns. Have you ever seen someone get beat down time and time again so you feel terrible? That was this guy!
Head outside waiting for cab (pre-Uber) they were done, but found a nice lady on the street to try one last time
She got pissed.
She decides how she responds, we decide where we come from
Pattern interrupt puts his arm out - she is a daughter, she is loved somewhere. Broke her down.
In between sobbing, this had nothing to do with you.
What made that possible - BROKE HER PATTERN- what was she expecting me to do?
- Fight back
- Stay Angry (if you’re in rapport)
- Sneak away
Didn’t make it about her or himself/ Switched the meaning of the whole event by interrupting pattern
Rapport can wreck your sale if you do it at the write time
I did the unexpected, she was expecting me to fight back or just apologize and sneak away. I did the unexpected and got a much different result. If I can do that in that emotionally loaded situation, I can train anyone to overcome an objection in a much less tense situation.
Coming from outside the field of sales. When you’re inside a particular field you have the benefits and advantages of knowing it. But you also have the myopia of the narrow focus into a specific area.
When you appeal to the subconscious mind of your prospect/client, they will do the majority of the work.
Subtle Words That Sell: How to Get Your Prospects to Convince Themselves To Buy
When you do it right, they talk themselves into buying.
JB:
How do you pattern interrupt and get into the subconscious?
PR:
Prospects want to get the work out of their way.
Have you ever interviewed people? It’s so mind numbing
Destroying Objections- 5 techniques
The OF Course Method-
TO ME. Of Course you do, otherwise you wouldn’t be in this business you’re consistently committed to everyday
Take the objection, and the MEANING of that objection is WHY YOU SHOULD LISTEN
Have you ever been in a situation where the more options you were presented with it made it more confusing? -
Based on a hypnotic principle- Dr. Milton Erickson -revolutionized the world of hypnosis - died in 1980 Love Pattern Interrupts - helps make people susceptible to create a narrow window where you can lead them to a new possibility.
Didn’t say WHAT or WHEN- left it vague and unclear
Whatever you can get the prospect to imagine for themselves they will think of it as their own idea. Be vague and make suggestions so the prospect starts to fill in the blanks for themselves
As I’m leading you in this exploration of subconscious communication today - I’m not sure all the points at which you’ll stop to think WOW Paul has some fascinating things to share. But as that’s taking place I’m so honored to begin this journey of mentorship with me.
Assuming they will continue learning from you.
JB:
What’s a pattern interrupt?
PR:
Stops their current thinking and allows you to reframe the meaning of their objection in the back of your head
All of this stuff applies to any field - this applies to so many people, LOVES to teach everybody
JB:
Where do sellers leverage a pattern interrupt?
PR:
If the prospect doesn’t want to engage, answer questions.
Worked across realtors, mortgage loan officers, Sales Engineers - you are the same guys I taught for years how to meet women and successfully employee your romantic stylings
SE matches the software and benefits in front of a group of experts whose job it is to suss out whether it will meet their needs. Lots of time a Tech Hijacker who wants to poke holes in everything.
“Before we begin this exploration of this suite of solutions. I want to acknowledge, I welcome questions, as long as you laugh at my jokes that’s absolutely fine. If you are the type of person who wants to prove me wrong, I’m already promising I know I can be wrong.”
Power of INOCULATION - inoculate your audience before they come up with objections
Before we dive into there are 3 possible responses(how do I get in front of them):
- Will sound like what you already know
- Majority of it will make some sense
- Some of this will be totally off the walls and that’s where I want to get you excited
The potential of bringing you results so far beyond what you’re enjoying today.
Slowed down the pace of his speaking to create a more hypnotic response
If you want to get into the power of subconscious suggestion, slow your voice down
It’s in the pause where you find the power.
JB:
How do you learn to slow your speaking?
PR:
Why mirror people when I can lead them?
Take the content out, change the tempo and the pace (to learn pacing) - Mary had a little lamb…..her fleece was……..white as snow…..
Rich Bandler- mentor- take nonsense content and pace your voice so you are less focused on the words and can alter the tone and pace
JB:
What is NLP and how do you use it?
PR:
I am using it the whole time. The suggestions are buried in the words.
FIND YOURSELF, DISCOVER YOURSELF, ALLOW YOURSELF -- use these 3 phrases in your sales presentations/negotiations, your sales will explode.
Do you ever just find yourself with your head in the refrigerator, hand on the door and you don’t remember what it is you’re looking for?
What does it mean to FIND YOURSELF doing something -it happens outside of your conscious awareness/control
As we’re having this discussion I don’t know at which point you might STOP and FIND YOURSELF MAKING A GREAT DECISION
Clarity doesn't have to be powerful you can be vague and be successful in sales
Everything I’ve learned came from my mom, blame it on her.
JB:
How do traditional, common teachings about mindset actually get in the way of your progress?
PR:
One of the limiting beliefs sales people have is they do OK with the mid-level clients, they just can’t close the big accounts.
It’s very difficult to convince someone to do something when they have a million repetitions with themselves saying I can’t, can’t can’t
Not a Napoleon Hill fan. More contrarian thinking as many people LOVE Napolean Hill. Who would lean on affirmations (I Close BIG DEALS!) but the subconscious mind wins over the conscious mind.
When you go to create change:
- Difficult to change beliefs about your identity - to change I AM statements - easy to change people’s beliefs of what they can learn/acquire
- Always stay in rapport with the unconscious mind
- When someone states a limiting belief take it away from being about them and more so a skill they can learn
Opposed to I can I can I can, use….Up Until Now it was my experience that I didn't close the high ticket items→ more empowering statement because it opens the POSSIBILITY that you can succeed
Easier to get someone to believe in the possibility they can change
And now I claim MY LEARNING OF MY SKILLS TO CLOSE MY BIG TICKET CLIENTS
Difference between wanting & claiming?
Ownership language; my, mine, etc.
Add in some adjectives
I claim these skills
I claim My skills
I claim my AMAZING skills- creates a lot more power
Make it about skills + ownership + adjective
Reflexively apply to the listener- take what they just said.
Wow that’s a powerful belief you’ve learned to invest in
What would it be like as you now open up to a mysterious new way of thinking?
Being deliberately vague at the right time, adding in suggestions, use trance phrases to help drive the conversation.
Watching a strawweight fight, ladies throwing many combinations - one of the best fights -
If you just use one of these tools, when you use them in partnership with each other it becomes crazy powerful. In hypnosis we call this the Law of Compound Suggestion.
JB:
This is where I think we can get so much!
PR:
I have an ulterior motive, I want people to fall in love with the transformational power of language, structure consciousness, shape decisions and drive behavior.
See people fall in love with themselves, close big deals, sales go up by 15-20-30%
People on the subconscious level not to just talk to him more, but to fall in love with it
The brain is miraculous, much more beautiful and complicated than a computer.
I think there is something magical going on between our ears
JB:
How do you help people bounce back from failure?
PR:
Surrender and Embrace practice
Affirmations:
I surrender my right to envy, despair, self punishment and demanding the world provide me
And embrace my practice of joy, appreciation and ability to learn any skills I need
Surrender my right to spite the success of others, embrace my right ot learning from them
I am blessed to have my challenges in my life, joyously, courageously, creatively face the challenges in my life and conquer
JB:
Talk to me about your daily routines
PR:
I practice happiness for the success of others! Metta meditation from Buddhism
When you are grateful for other people’s success it’s the completion/multiplication of your own gratitude for what you have
Envy multiplies your lack or what you miss out on
Envy implies a belief that you can’t do/have something
Purge myself of subtle self punishment
Obvious positions, anger, jealousy we can deal with , the subtle ones have power because we don’t see them
If you have an ego problem like me, have cats because they will show you that you don’t matter
JB:
Talk to me about meditation practice
PR:
2500 year old Buddhist practice called Vipassana, essentially mindfulness
- Focus
- Sensory clarity- acutely aware of everything going on
- Equanimity - non interference with the flow of the experience
Self is not a thing, an ever arising set of experiences. It can be very liberating especially when suffering.
So much pain and grief upon the passing of his mother, allow the grief to grip my body, feel it through every part of my body...after 30 minutes broke up into waves of energy. Did I suffer? NO. Was in grief but not suffering.
Went from grieving incapacitated to griveing in my life
As humans we aren’t taught to handle pain well.
When we can walk side by side with pain and uncertainty.
Biggest problems for people not fear of failure but the uncertainty. Unwillingness to move forward without certainty.
JB:
The power of meditation, mindset and subconscious is so powerful because sales is a life skill about engaging with people, engaging with yourself and building awareness that can take you forward.
What does success mean to you?
PR:
The freedom to do what I love to do, teaching, and doing it in a way where I can have financial reward to choose to spend my money on experiences not things. It gives me the opportunity to play with the kind of people I want to play with.
Finally for me, success is impact!
Mom, I didn’t have children for myself, I had them for the world!
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