No GF or BF. What’s wrong with me?

When my son was a teenager, he came to me and shared his fear that there must be something wrong with him because he was not in a relationship, like he felt so many of his friends were. As I talked with him about it, it was obvious that he had a view where he was focusing just on those people who did have relationships. He didn't see how many other people, just like him, were struggling to date or were not interested in dating, and they didn't have relationships. It forced me to go back and remember my teenage years, and I could so relate because I didn't have a boyfriend then. Frankly, I wasn't really that interested in having a boyfriend, dating, or relationships. But I did worry that something was wrong with me that I didn't have them.

Well, now I'm in a unique position where, as a dating and relationship strategist and coach, I see people who struggle with some of the same concerns, and they wonder what's wrong with them when, in reality, their experience is quite common. And the truth is, it's not you, it's your technique.

We are in a culture where this is a much more common problem than it's ever been before. In 1960. When my parents were dating, 72% of all adults were married. That meant that the other 28% were single, never married, widowed, divorced, or too young and not married yet. But the rest, 72%, were married, and 59% of 30-year-olds were married. Let's fast forward 50 years, and in 2010, only 20% of 30-year-olds were married, and in 2015, 51% of all adults were married. We have experienced, as a culture, a huge shift in attachment!

My name is Alisa Goodwin Snell, and welcome to the Lasting Love Podcast, where we feature real life, real people, and real love. If you enjoy this podcast, please share it with others who you feel would also benefit from it. And if you're anxious to start your own lasting love journey, please join me at the LastingLoveAcademy.com.