I should be clear... I don't struggle with this. The stories I share about my pride in this episode are a complete rarity. Almost never happens.
I also don't struggle with lying... :D
(Just kidding :)
I need this learning as much as anyone... which is why I'm excited to share what God is teaching me!
----
"My spouse needs to change..."
"[He is / She is] doing so many bad things...so many..."
"There's nothing I can do unless [he / she] changes..."
I knew this was a disempowering mindset that I saw often.
But it wasn't until this week when God confronted me with my pride, that I learned that "self-pity" is the sin of pride.
Ouch.
But true.
(I learned this through the book by R. T. Kendall's The Power of Humility. I highly recommend it.)
Wallowing in your pain isn't God's way.
"But I don't deserve to be treated like this!"
I hear you.
Job didn't deserve his suffering either.
His suffering was profound.
Maybe yours is too.
Job started out strong. Even when others encouraged him to deny God's goodness, he stayed faithful to God and honored His faithfulness regardless.
But eventually, he succumbed to self-pity, he was severely corrected for his wallowing in self-pity.
I hope you and I will heed what God said to Job. And that we would respond the way Job did to His correction.
I encourage you to lean into His discipline.
He is a good Father who disciplines His children.
God is kind to bring us to repentance.
And don't worry... I needed this episode too. Let's draw near to God. Lay down our pride and acknowledge and seek Him as Lord and King.
Love,
Belah
PS - We'd love to help you with your marriage, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a free Clarity Call.
PPS - If you're wondering how healthy your marriage is right now to give you insights on what needs to change and the first steps in how to with free resources... go to delightyourmarriage.com/health to take the Marital Health Assessment.
From another recent graduate:
Before the men's program:
"Struggles - Arguing, lack of trust, loss of peace frequently, little laughter, lack of joy, lack of fun. I was worried that if I didn't change, my wife might leave me after the kids leave for college.
348-“Wholehearted” Sex - Darcy’s Advice for Husbands and Wives
347-How to Be Spiritually Mature
346-Be Mature (Surrender Your Sexuality to God's Design)
345-So What Exactly Is a Clarity Call?
344-How to Make Orgasm Better for Her (Re-Release)
343-When the Past Still Plagues Your Marriage
342-If You Only Knew His Love
341-"I Didn't Realize How Much I Needed to Change". Meredith's Transformation Story
340-What to Do With Your Jealousy
339-Irritable & Hurt to Flirty & Free. Emily's Transformation Story
338-"Pretty Much Done with Life" and Now True Intimacy. Len's Transformation Story
337-Three Ways to Dismantle the Marital Atomic Bomb During the Countdown
336-His Aggression Impulse (& Wrong Sex)
335-Don't Undermine Her (Sexual) Progress
334-Rapid Fire Transformation Stories - Part 3
333-Roommates for 20 yrs... "I Truly Cannot Believe Where We Are". Bill's Transformation Story
332-Tunnel With No Light & Now Joy Filled -- Steve's Transformation Story
331-Why Duty Sex Hurts Him (& Her!)
330-DYM Team Take Over!
329-"I Changed & She Drew Towards Intimacy" - Minister Matt's Transformation Story
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