I panicked. Had some strange transformation occurred whilst asleep? There was no extraneous fur growing on my body, no foul breath that resembled the remnants of fried Grantaloupe innards, or any other traits of a Chewbacca for which I should be deeply concerned. There must have been in a crazy dream before lucidity resurfaced, so the anxiety began to fade.
Nightmare averted.
But there is another species of Wookie—sort of the human version of that Sasquatch’s buzzin’ cousin from another mother. Generally unclean, extremely hairy, and housing silver dollar sized earlobe gauges, their look is that of having stolen tapestries from an eastern European gypsy bordello and fashioned the material into pants. You see and smell them at heady Cannabis events toting their wares in a pelican case. I sniffed the underarms, and it was not good. Had I transformed? Was it Freaky Friday?
Jumping out of bed, I immediately made a terror run for the mirror where a thorough inspection was in order. The hair was studied for any new emerging dreads, the mouth for any new sores, and the face for any remnants of crumbs in the patchy facial hair. Nope, it was the same dude that passed out drunk the previous night in the middle of the original Star Wars trilogy.
So, I relaxed and took a dab, clutching my stuffed Princess Kneesaa Ewok toy that brings me comfort in moments of reality.
#52 - Decision Fatigue
#51 - God Bless Buddha
#50 - One Night Stand With A Carnie
#49 - Breakup By Text
#48 - Harpsicords Are Cool
#47 - The Gateway Drug
#46 - INDICA-TION
#45 - Tuesday Is My Friday
#44 - Bad Feng Sui
#43 - Other People's Junk
#42 - Thank God For Global Warming
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#40 - Blame Me For The Fanny Pack
#39 - Karate Kids
#38 - Monologuing
#37 - It's The At
#36 - LMFAO
#35 - The Roaring 20'S
#34 - Ice Cream Is The Devil
#33 - Dropped Calls Are Life Changing
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