180: When People Push Your Buttons: The Power of Curiosity Over Control With Harvard Psychologist Dr. Stuart Ablon

2025-10-16

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What do you do when someone you love - whether it’s your kids, a spouse, or a friend - keeps doing the same maddening things? This week, we’re tackling how to approach the most frustrating dynamics in any relationship. Dr. Alison is joined by award-winning psychologist Dr. J. Stuart Ablon, founder of Think:Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital, and Associate Professor at Harvard Medical School. He shares a game-changing mindset shift: most challenging behavior is about skill, not will. If you’ve ever thought, “They just don’t care,” about someone you love, this co...

What do you do when someone you love - whether it’s your kids, a spouse, or a friend - keeps doing the same maddening things?

This week, we’re tackling how to approach the most frustrating dynamics in any relationship. Dr. Alison is joined by award-winning psychologist Dr. J. Stuart Ablon, founder of Think:Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital, and Associate Professor at Harvard Medical School.

He shares a game-changing mindset shift: most challenging behavior is about skill, not will.

If you’ve ever thought, “They just don’t care,” about someone you love, this conversation provides a proven, practical path to real solutions.

This episode explores:

The five core skills that drive every behavior
The real reason most people struggle
How to keep your cool and trade judgment for curiosity
The exact words that lower defensiveness fast
Why boundaries still matter—and how to set them collaboratively
A step-by-step walkthrough of Collaborative Problem Solving in action

For more from Dr. Stuart Ablon, check out his many free resources:

💡For free access to an interactive, self-paced course for parents, go to https://thinkkids.org/Self-Paced-Courses/Parent-Caregiver-Course/ Use code: BestofYou

🏥 Think: Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital

📚Changeable: How Collaborative Problem Solving Changes Lives at Home, at School, and at Work

Here are some other episodes you might like :

Episode 86: Embracing Conflict—Why It's Essential & 4 Simple Ways to Tackle It

Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode.

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