According to Merriam-Webster, the word “conversation” has 36 synonyms, ranging from the alliterative (”confabulation”) to the arcane (”persiflage”). Why the linguistic profusion? Because conversing is a fundamental part — maybe the fundamental part — of being human.
We chat with our families, friends, strangers, and co-workers, and we communicate in phone calls, text messages, emails, and, occasionally, postcards. When these tête-à-têtes go well, it is oddly thrilling; we become better versions of ourselves — warmer and wiser, funnier, and consistently insightful. Best of all, a good dialogue is a direct route to connection. “The bond of all companionship,” wrote Oscar Wilde, “whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.”
But when a conversation goes poorly, when it stays on the surface (”what do you do for a living?”) or devolves into a sputtering mess of misunderstanding (”you’re overreacting!”), we don’t feel the invigorating pulse of connection. What we feel, instead, is the emotional equivalent of a busy signal.
So, this hour, we’re asking: how can we have better conversations? And to help answer that question, we’re joined by Charles Duhigg, a Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist and the bestselling author of “The Power of Habit” and now “Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection.” Charles, as you’ll hear, is something of supercommunicator himself, a lithe storyteller who’s as well-versed in evolutionary biology as he is in the latest psychology, and after studying the art and science of communication for the last few years, he’s concluded that anyone can become a great conversationalist. You just have to master a few simple skills. Tune in to find out what they are.
Host: Rufus Griscom
Guest: Charles Duhigg
Book: “Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection”
*THE NEXT BIG IDEA CLUB*
We all know that reading is the best investment we can make in ourselves, but figuring out what to read … well, that’s another matter. Which is why we started the Next Big Idea Club. We get the best new books — as chosen by our curators (Malcolm Gladwell, Adam Grant, Susan Cain, and Daniel Pink) — into the hands of curious people. Like you! Join us today at nextbigideaclub.com
PARENTING: Learn How to Do It Better With Science, Data, and Mr. Rogers
PERSONALITY: The Science of Being Who You Want
JOYFUL: Ingrid Fetell Lee and Adam Grant on the Objects That Make Us Happy
CULT OF WE: How WeWork's CEO Vaporized $40 Billion
BREATH: Is Deep Breathing the Secret to Long Living?
DRUNK: Can Alcohol Make You More Creative, Sociable, and Attractive?
DEATH, SEX & MONEY: Anna Sale Talks About Hard Things
THE BOMBER MAFIA: Malcolm Gladwell on Warfare, Audiobooks, and the Future of Storytelling
EFFORTLESS: Embrace the Easy Option
HIGH CONFLICT: How to Defuse Any Squabble (Amanda Ripley & Susan Cain)
EXTENDED MIND: Want to Get Smarter? Try Thinking Outside of Your Brain
DELUSIONS: How Self-Deception Can Help You Flourish (Shankar Vedantam & Daniel Pink)
AI: The Extraordinary Story of the Tech That’s Changing the World
MINE: How the Rules of Ownership Control Our Lives
GATHERING: Mastering the Art of Hanging Out
EMAIL: Would the World Be Better Without It?
WORK: Should You Do Less of It? Adam Grant and James Suzman on the 15-Hour Workweek.
CODE BREAKER: Why Walter Isaacson Thinks CRISPR Will Change Life As We Know It
FOOD: Can We Taste Climate Change?
CHATTER: Learning to Love the Voice in Your Head
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