The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Education:Self-Improvement
On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
Core Emotional Needs, such as Approval, Attention, Security, Respect (and more) get depleted over time and as human beings, getting them met, and kept topped up, is not optional. We will consciously, but mostly unconsciously Fight/Flight/Freeze in order to get them met.
They desire to be met. You are in danger zone for Acting out, as a way to fulfil those needs - temporarily. Yet, temporarily (at the time), is good enough and promises a fix.
Fight may take the form of passive-aggressive. You are out of sort with a partner and you know that they know; they are worried that because of it, you may Act out; but you throw caution to the wind and don't care. In fact, quietly, you are pleased they fear you might act out. That is a way you get back at them and give them their "comeuppance".
You know what Flight response looks like don't you? That is when you run into the arms of "Mrs Porn" or "Mrs Sex" or the pursuit of love & affection. Here is my definition of Flight: You move yourself out of the place where you perceive that your Core Emotional Needs are not being met and instead, put yourself in a place where you perceive your Core Emotional Needs will more likely be met.
Freeze, isn't entirely freeze! It is more about "just getting on with life". Just don't think about it. Throw caution to the wind. Self-pity maybe.
Getting Core Emotional Needs met is not negotiable. At some point you will be doing Fight/Flight/Freeze, to get them met.
Better understand the dynamics. Let The Kairos Centre come alongside your journey.
Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com
Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/
Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam.
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Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification |
The younger a female experiences arousal, the greater the number of casual sex partners
Around aged 17, six times the number of males become addicted to porn than young females
Relapse prevention: There should be signs of a reclaimed quality life from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction, without shame and with added colour
Carve out your Safety Plan for maintaining Sex, Porn Love Addiction sobriety and avoid Relapse
Sometimes a Sex, Porn, Love Addiction sobriety day requires that you just R.U.N
Don't believe the lie - during your Sex, Porn, Love Addiction thinking Distortion
Negative CORE BELIEFS about self leads to Sex, Porn Love Addiction self-soothing
Trauma related Triggers: Know yours in Sex, Porn Love Addiction Recovery
Even in Sex, Porn, Love Addiction, Change is a process, not a one time event
EMDR is tussling for its turn - in Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Work
Changed cognition/thinking is the first step to changed Sex, Porn, Love Addiction
Sex and Porn Addiction is not about porn images
Childhood development has got questions to answer when it comes to Sex, Porn & Love Addiction
Attachment style: I'm not Insecurely ATTACHED at all! How dare you suggest so
Attachment Style: ATTACH(MENT) to me, but not too close; closer, but not that close
Narcissism vs Empathy: in Porn, Sex, Love Addiction
SHAME + NARCISSISTIC TRAITS = SEX ADDICTION
Taking Responsibility - for your choices in Sex, Porn, Love Addiction behaviours
Partners of Sex Addicts cry out: ".....and what about me" (the silent partner affected)
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