The EXTRAORDINARY Family Life Podcast
Kids & Family:Parenting
In this episode, it seems as though we start talking about one subject and end with another. Yet, they are connected.
We begin discussing how to deal with children who are ‘high spirited’ with minds of their own (which can sometimes be aggravating or embarrassing) and who grow up feeling ‘not good enough’ or as though there’s something wrong with them because of the constant correction they receive.
We also mention the ‘quiet’, ‘good’ kids that ‘go along to get along’ but who internally might be (unconsciously) building resentment to the arbitrary rules and restrictions of their parents (which often leads to some sort of rebellion or rejection of values when they become adults).
Both types of kids struggle because of the (often arbitrary) rules their parents and/or society have for them. Out of the best intentions, parents create rules for their family life so that children can be safe, they can have high standards and values, and some sort of order and control can be maintained. The rules are often communicated in a black-and-white way — we never eat in the living room, we never stand on the table, we never listen to pop music, we never swear, we never stay out past midnight, we never watch rated R movies, we never lie, etc.
But the reality is, this black-and-white approach has long-term detrimental consequences for your relationship with your child, their critical thinking skills, and their ability to make decisions. That’s because life is rarely black and white. There are variables, nuances, and levels to all parts of our reality.
We end the episode by expounding on how allowing your children to ‘talk back’ and to argue/debate with you in an effort to persuade you to their point of view is a GOOD thing. Your rules are NOT black and white and kids (as well as parents) often intuitively feel this, they just can’t articulate it.
This is where ‘parenting relativism’ is required. And while that sounds bad or dangerous to some, it is actually an effective approach that helps us help our children to navigate the complexities of the world around us and life in general.
At the outset, the approach we outline in this episode seems like more work and thought, and effort on your part. But in the long run — done well — it creates WAY better results because this parenting process develops the ability to think critically, to strategically analyze, to effectively make decisions, and to confront moral dilemmas. As a bonus, it increases the trust and respect your children have for you as their parents and creates stronger life-long relationships.
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/extraordinary-family-life/message#242 HOW to (Enjoy) Spending More Time with Your Spouse & Kids
#241 Stop Controlling Your Kids & Instead Gain Their Love, Respect & Admiration
#240 Dealing with Picky Eaters & Empowering a Lifetime of Healthy Food Choices
#239 Stop Punishing. Learn How to (Effectively) Discipline Your Kids
#238 Israel/Palestine, Ukraine, W.H.O., 'The Great Reset', Tolerance, Murdered Activists, and Other Craziness! 🤪
#237 The Stability of Your Family Life DEPENDS on the Stability of Your Marriage
#236 Creating Stability: Become a Better Problem Solver to Become a Better Parent
#235 Creating a Family Culture of Stability, Safety, Trust, & Well-Adjusted Family Members
#234 College, Drug Lords, Billboards & Totalitarianism in America
#233 The Impending Unraveling (and Collapse?) of Society -- How to Protect Your Family
#232 PROTECT Your Kids NOW from Traffickers & Sexual Abusers
#231 Stop Lying to Your Kids — Speak ONLY Truth to Gain More Influence
#230 How to Handle the Stress & Pressure of Family Life and to Move Into Higher Level Emotions
#229 How to Plan BIG Adventures for Your Family (+ Budget & Costs)
#228 How to Help Your Kids LOVE 'Reading' (aka Stories, Learning, & Growing)
#227 Babe, I Want to Be Able to Talk to You About ANYTHING -- Let's Listen & Discuss This
#226 Please Don't Be Offended That I Shared This Episode With You -- Here's Why YOU (and I) Need a Coach
#225 How to Help Your (Public or Homeschool) Kids Get a World-Class Education
#224 How (& WHY) to Have Sex 3-6 Times a Week EVEN with Kids, Businesses, Homeschool, Jobs, Activities, and More
#223 How to Prevent 80% of Problems & Find Lasting Solutions When Challenges Do Arise
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