Alice Part 2 of 3: When Your Life Is Full Of Shoulds

This is part 2 of the 3 part series with Alice who is parenting her two boys Dan, 9 years old and Jake, 6 years old.  Alice is coming to this therapy session feeling overwhelmed and not having the time and focus to do what we talked about in the previous session. Parenting IS overwhelming and its very likely that many of you also feel overwhelmed. We unpack those feelings and discuss strategies to help Alice stay present in her parenting. You can’t do it all. And sometimes we just need permission to let go of other people’s expectations.

For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.

Time stamps:

14:13 Being overwhelmed by thoughts, beliefs and shoulds:  Is that adding any value?

17:35 The difference between mindfulness and meditation

18:03 Definition of mindfulness

20:52 Understanding the doing mind vs the being mind

23:09 Identifying a parenting myth: “It only counts if we are interacting together”

24:25 Connection is the foundation of your parent-child relationship

26:35 Examples of how to “be” present with your children

31:35 The richness of diversity between the parents

33:50 What to do with nagging thoughts 

37:49 Take another look at politeness

38:46 Are you modeling politeness: Do you actions speak louder than words

40:50 How to cue a child to develop their manners without shaming them

Leslie-ism: Being present is more important than being perfect.

Show Note Links:

A short video of Jon Kabat Zinn who describes mindfulness 

Handout on Being Mind and Doing Mind

A short video on Balancing the Doing Mind and the Being Mind

Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Dale Rubury, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Public relations is handled by Gabriela Glueck. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O’Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.